Course Mate Conundrum

"I got off with my course-mate last night."

(Image: Martha Stone)

Dear Aunty Vi,

I got off with my course-mate last night . There’s always been this kind of tension between us, but we’ve always just assumed that we were good friends. 

I don’t know if I want to go back to just being friends any more. He’s sweet, funny and always the first one there if I’m upset. We’ve had so many good times together, we’re really into the same stuff and we really bounce off each other so I think it would be really natural. People always confuse us for a couple so it wouldn’t be that big a jump, right?

The only problem is that I don’t know how to tell his girlfriend. She’s never liked me because she’s always suspected something between us (despite us always denying it) and now he’s too afraid to tell her. I just want to rip the plaster off.

What do you think?

Reader

Dear reader,

Thank you for your submission.

First of all, if you’re unsure about him then you need to ask yourself this; do you like him? Or do you like the idea of him?

This is a very sticky situation, so if you are going to go for it, you need to be 100% sure that it’s the right thing for you, as well as being the right thing for him.

Regardless of your decision, I would encourage you to ask your friend to tell his girlfriend about the kiss. If you were in her position, you’d want to know, so treat her with the honesty that you’d want to be treated with.

As much as this situation centres around you, it has even more to do with your friend and his relationship with his girlfriend. At the end of the day, it is his responsibility, not yours, and he should be treating his girlfriend with the respect and honesty that she deserves. It’s understandable that she’s been nervous of you, her assumptions were clearly not without reason.

In short, this is about honesty. Not just with your friend and his girlfriend, but also with yourself. You will be able to navigate this as long as you keep the lines of communication open and respectful.

Aunty Vi

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