Cat Food Cravings

''Sometimes I have urges to eat cat food.''

Dear Auntie Vi
(Image: Martha Stone)

‘Dear Aunty Vi,

Sometimes I have urges to eat cat food mixed with a few biscuits.

What should I do?

P.S. I don’t have a cat.

Reader.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for your submission.

According to www.sweetiekitty.com, cat food apparently does not meet the nutritional needs of humans, but it is safe to eat.

Just like any ordinary student meal really…

When you say you want to mix the cat food with biscuits, I would like to ask whether you mean cat biscuits (even cats aren’t fond of these so I personally wouldn’t recommend this), or whether you want to spread it onto the back of a digestive instead of the chocolate?

If it’s just the texture of soft and crunchy cat food that you’re craving, then, there is a type of cat food that’s soft in the middle, but crunchy on the outside. Visit Meow Mix for more information.

Something that I would advise you to bear in mind, is that most cat foods are fish flavoured, so there is a high risk of the smell giving away your dirty secret. However, the fact that we are in a national lockdown gives you an advantage. If you’re isolating alone right now, then go to absolute town and fulfil your jelly, meaty or fishy needs.

When adding cat food to your weekly shop, I’d advise you do this in-store rather than through a home delivery because, the delivery guy is more likely to realise that you don’t have a four-legged feline running around your house.

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