Yes- Zoe Biles
Authority is sexy. This is an obvious but true fact that has riddled the relationship game since Biblical times, ever since Mary Magdalene fell head over heels for Jesus. So when you arrive at university, a nervous yet anxiously excited, totally unaware fresher, it is surely only common sexual etiquette to develop a crush on your experienced and subtly commanding STYC.
Freshers’ Week should, in theory, be all about throwing yourself in the deep end. Giving yourself the entire university experience in the concentrated time period of a week. What screams university experience more than the exciting rush of drunken nights at Willow followed by steamy sex with a person who, let’s face it, you probably shouldn’t have had sex with?
And I prescribe, to all of the people who believe sex with STYCs to be a violation of some distinct moral code that should be enforced categorically, to sit down with a Sex and the City box set to cure them of their frank and obvious sexual boredom. We are talking about two parties, both over-age, both within the age gap of (shocking, I know) three years maximum. This is not a scandal. This is a description of any student’s Friday night. Sleeping with your STYC could possibly be the healthiest way to overcome those insecure moments of Fresher anxiety.
Indeed, what an exciting way to integrate yourself with the students of other years, allowing you to step out of the fresher bubble and enjoy what the rest of the university has to offer in terms of sexual partners. The most integral part of this argument lies with the fact that an estimated 90% of freshers have little or no contact with their STYCs after Freshers’ Week, whereas fellow flatmates live with each other for a year.
Point being, whereas shacking up with a STYC can easily be forgotten and moved on from, the common decision to have sex with someone you live with or live near can result in endless awkward kitchen meetings throughout what should be the easiest and most enjoyable year of university life. If any moral code should exist, it should be this one: do not sleep with your housemate.
No- Helena Schofield
Out of the thousands of students at University, you pick the first one you meet. If that doesn’t reek of desperation, I don’t know what does. Even if you do get into a proper relationship with them, you’re alienating yourself from your fellow freshers and flatmates because not everyone will fall in love with their STYC, so your flatmates won’t be able to relate to your situation.
They’re your STYC, not your pre-ordained bed buddy. If you sleep with your STYC, you’re totally forgetting the whole point of having a STYC, which is to have someone to guide you through your first few weeks at university, and to look after you – not as a surrogate parent, but as an ‘older sibling’ figure of experience and support. If the first thing they do is sleep with you, they’re not doing their job; they’re taking advantage of their position of semi-authority, which is pathetic on their part.
I’m all for being free to do as you please with your own body, as university is all about new experiences. I also understand that some people might be lucky enough to be assigned a STYC who they get on incredibly well with and can form a romantic relationship with.
If so, congratulations, you’re quite lucky, but there’s a difference between being the fun police and knowing what boundaries are. It’s highly likely that you will be drunk at some point during Freshers’ Week, and therefore more likely to make a decision you might regret.
Moreover, we cannot simply pretend that Freshers being taken advantage of is impossible. If you’re homesick, surrounded by strangers, in a big and intimidating university, the last thing you want is pressure for sex from your STYC, or any shame or regret you may feel. It’s just another problem on top of the pile of worries for brand new and potentially vulnerable students.
We should drop any remaining ‘F*** me, I’m a Fresher’ mentality. You have three or even four years to sleep with whoever you want, as much as you want. Or not at all: it is your decision. But I really don’t see the point of going gung-ho in your first few weeks (or even days!) and jumping into the sack with your STYC.