5) Frankenhooker (1990)
The fantastically titled Frankenhooker details how a mad scientist reconstructs his dead wife using only the finest New York prostitute slices. Definitely buoyed up by Bill Murray’s sardonic endorsement (“If you see one movie this year, it should be Frankenhooker”) and Penthouse Pet Patty Mullen in the titular role.
4) SARS Wars (2004)
Thai filmmaker Taweewat Wantha: “SARS is child’s play. What you really need is a mutation of the SARS virus. Yes. That turns people into zombies. Actually, what you really need is a pregnant zombie with a zombie fetus, who kills fools by jumping out of the womb like that chestburster thing from Alien. Let’s make that film, and throw some transvestite sex in for good measure.”
3) Soul Vengeance (1975)
Long before Teeth, there was Soul Vengeance. The film’s primary villain is a homicidal penis with a sick sense of justice. Tead willy is still very much attached, but on the flip side can ‘grow’ to several scary feet. Cue obligatory masturbation making you blind jokes, and maybe an awkward boner scene turning nasty and vengeful. Hopefully.
2) Evil Bong (2006)
Hell yes. Evil Bong is (marvellously) about a possessed bong that, once used, takes you to Bong World, where you shortly get killed by evil strippers. Or, more precisely, you get killed by the evil skulls on the evil strippers’ bras.Occasionally, the skulls go for the genitals rather than the neck. Featuring a vital cameo by Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong fame, Evil Bong was just so good they had to go to the next level with the sequel: Evil Bong 2: King Bong.
1) Killer Condom (1997)
A vulnerable gigolo, Bill. finds himself caught up in shit way beyond his pay grade with a gay private eye, Luigi Mackeroni. Attraction between the two inevitably results, but before the two can get down to it, condom-shaped tragedy strikes! Said sheath is alive, and what’s more is, I shit you not, hungry for Mackeroni’s testicles. No more explanation is realy required.Seemingly funded straight out of Opus Dei’s pocket, the film is worth it if only for its tagline: “The rubber that rubs YOU out!”