5. The Sequel
James Cameron has confirmed there will be more films to comes, so this is now becoming a bloody franchise. I can’t really see where else Avatar can go, apart from repeating the same plot again. Humans return, create havoc, tragedy strikes, Jake and friends win. But it’s okay, Cameron says they might explore the moons surrounding Pandora. So expect the exact same film you saw, only now there’ll be brand new crazy animals and plants doing wacky things inches from your face.
4. The Antagonists
To say Cameron’s movie isn’t effective would be a lie, it’s just that does it through clichéd characters. The antagonists of the film are probably the worst example. There’s the ‘we’ll achieve our goal by any means possible’ military and the ‘look, I’m practicing my putting in my office’ corporate guy. Colonel Quaritch as a result has become such a caricature of the military that he makes the film comical. This guy has lines like ‘I want this mission high and tight. I want to be home for dinner’. He will run out into a poisonous atmosphere with no protection if he has to, and his eventual death isn’t that far off from that of a child playing Cowboys and Indians. In other words he really milks it. The actor playing Quaritch has even hinted that the character might return in the sequel, stating ‘You think those two arrows in my chest are going to stop me from coming back?’. Cameron has simply picked out a couple of Chuck Norris facts and created a character out of them.
3. The Protagonists
Again, a guy in a wheelchair, a group of scientists and a culture that is one with the environment. Really…
2. The Sense of Déjà vu
Avatar is basically a mixture of Pocahontas, The Last Samurai and Dancing With Wolves BUT IN SPACE!!!!!! Everyone’s said it, even Cameron has. But there’s one more film. Think about it. Two people meet, from different cultures, or maybe classes, fall in love, and then are struck by a great tragedy, be it in the form of a massive tree being destroyed or an iceberg. Avatar = Titanic. Okay, there’s no doomed ship, but Rose basically makes the same journey as Jake, discovering this new world (the lower class), falling in love with it, and eventually shunning the world that she was brought up in. Therefore, what’s the point in Avatar? A means of simply satisfying his massive ego until he releases his documentary on unearthing Jesus’ body.
1. The Na’vi
Cameron puts a lot of effort into making the Na’vi as loveable as possible. Firstly, they have the nose and ears of a cat, and who doesn’t love cats? Secondly, they have massive puppy dog eyes, and who doesn’t love dogs? Lastly, they have human features as well, and who doesn’t love humans? Those Na’vi can’t be savages, they must be a peaceful species. I want to be a Na’vi. Hooray environment. Boo technology. Oh, Cameron, how topical you are… Twat.