The Primadoner Boys: A Kebab Conundrum

EFES Pizza

Situated close to the University, Efes caters for the bedraggled travellers who can’t quite complete their trek back to their own fridge without instant meaty gratification.

The neon lights above Efes attract inebriated students like moths to a flame, immense will-power is required to walk past if you haven’t already been suckered in by earlier Kebab shops. Staff are friendly and fast, and experienced in dealing with the dribbling and slurring student. Efes boasts an extensive menu, offering good deals when buying food in bulk, so if you’re catering for a few, or pretending to cater for a few, then Efes is ideal.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Doner Wrap. Eating a wrap somehow feels healthy, something about a doughy tortilla as opposed to a greasy bun appeases the anxieties concerning the inevitable beer and kebab bloat you will have to carry to your lecture the following morning. It’s a sign of how delightfully edible these wraps are, that we somehow feel we’ve made the sensible body-conscious choice despite the fact mashed chicken and garlic sauce oozes from our chomping mouths. At £4.50 you do get a lot for your money; I would strongly advise both chilli and garlic sauce for the full experience and maximum decadence.

Micklegate Takeaway 

Micklegate Takeaway is fairly underpublicized when it comes to media coverage of York’s kebab scene. Perhaps it is the unmemorable name or the fact on the way back from Tokyo or Salvation a right turn at Popworld spells disaster for a student whose orientation has gone awry. Yet one cocktail too many on a bar crawl on the infamous Micklegate, or if you simply happen to stumble upon it, Micklegate takeaway will cater to your needs. It is again excellent for bulk buying, yet if a student is looking for a cost effective way to line their stomachs then there are bargains to be had.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – in this case I would advise a combination of two items. One piece of Southern Fried Chicken for £1.30 and 10 onion rings for £2.00. The price of £3.30 for such a large quantity of food might instil fear into the heart of the consumer dwarfed behind the counter, not quite being able to see what goes on inside those mysterious and ominous fryers. Yet do not fear, as we all know fried chicken can easily go wrong and is very difficult to get right, yet Micklegate takeaway manages to achieve it. There is a crunch from the batter and soft tender white chicken inside. My pet hate; the soggy onion ring – crunch is essential and a non-stringy oniony centre – yet again disaster is avoided and 10 crispy onion rings are promptly delivered to your gleeful hands.

Salt and Pepper

Salt and Pepper is ideally situated for Wednesday and Thursday nights.

Across the road from Salvation and Tokyo and adjacent to Society, it boasts boothed seating and provides a perfect place to fill your stomach while waiting for a bus or taxi. However, Salt and Pepper is not cheap, yet you are guaranteed to quench your appetite while waiting in a social and generally jovial atmosphere. It also has the capacity to deal with a heavy flow of customers with up to four members of staff on duty working quickly and efficiently.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Special Burger. At £5 for a quarter pounder this is one of the more costly items on our suggestions, yet it is anything but haute-cuisine.
However, the Special Burger delivers on every aspect of what a student needs between the hours of one and five. It is big, it is sloppy and it kills two birds with one stone; a beef patty, covered in strips of doner meat and crispy lettuce. Topped with lettuce, onion and sauces of your choosing, the Special provides a range of textures and tastes; the overriding one is that of tender kebab meat.  If you are a serious eater and have a spare pound I suggest upgrading to the half pounder, which of course requires more doner topping, more salad and definitely more sauce. I would like to say the Special Burger ignited the passion of the 18th century Ottoman travellers that first discovered the art of doner meat; it doesn’t, but it gets the job done.

Oki’s Kebab Stand

Oki’s is perhaps the best positioned in York. It is a 30 second walk from Willow and is therefore close to Revs and Kuda as well. Those walking back to campus after crossing the bridge will also be intercepted by its luminous yellow sign, a light at the end of the tunnel confirming that your stomach will be lined soon enough. Service is quick and there is the usual plethora of sauces available; not only this but a member of staff will ring a taxi for you.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Chicken burger, best served with lettuce and either ketchup or mayonnaise. At a reasonable price of £3 the crunchy hot burger is complemented well by the soft and cold lettuce. Yet these textures are not usually appreciated, as once the toasted buns fit nicely into the consumers eagerly awaiting mittens the burger’s days are numbered. Its drawbacks are that it is gone in between 45 seconds to a minute. For me personally I am not fully satiated, but do not fear, there is always the option of adding chips or exploring the rest of their menu.

There is always the option of McDonalds/Subway but there is no risk, no surprise, no gleeful discovery of a settled stomach in the morning. Many other takeaways are available that I am yet to sample. But I will persevere and find the best deals possible for you, regardless of the detrimental effects on my health.