The Name Game: College Ten

Tom Davies – Features Editor

Clitherow College 4:1

With the rumour mill ablaze that College 10 will be named after a woman, there’s no other choice for me than Saint Margaret Clitherow. Often called the “Pearl of York”, Clitherow was a Roman Catholic martyr who was executed in the city for harbouring Catholic priests in 1586. Clitherow was lain on a sharp rock and crushed to death at the end of the Ouse Bridge. Her remarkable strength and virtue in the face of adversity make her an ideal candidate, and it doesn’t hurt that her surname has a certain gravitas about it which lends itself well to a college name.

Fawkes College 18:1

Carrying on York’s proud tradition of troublesome Catholics, the York born infamous gunpowder plotter could well end up having a college named after him one of these days, particularly with the proposed plans to eventually double the size of the University. However his chances of being the namesake for college ten are signiifcantly slimmed by his gender and controversial legacy as an attempted regicide. But the prospect of Fawkes College is certainly not a total impossibility.

Cable College 300:1

The Liberal Democrat MP for Twickeham, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills, and former Treasury Finance Officer for the Kenyan Government is a lesser known export of our city. Born in York in 1943 and twice the losing SDP candidate for the York parliamentary constituency before joining the Lib Dems, Cable’s candidacy for college fame suffers from many of the same drawbacks as Harman’s, chiefly a lack of political neutrality. Also, Cable College is, let’s be fair, a really stupid name.

Boneless College 4000:1

Ivar, called ‘the Boneless’ was a 9th century Viking beserker and King of Northumbria, ruling from York. Although many have spoken in support of a college which references our cities Viking history, Ivar is probably not our best option. Asides from the potential dubiousness of naming a college after a bloodthirsty Norse warlord who once allegedly tied a man to a tree and shot him the death with arrows. Boneless College frankly sound’s like the latest meal deal at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Callum Shannon – Deputy Editor

Ward College 8:1

One of the most successful female economists of the 20th century (some would say the mother of sustainable development), life peer, policy adviser, environmental activist and born right here in York, Barbara Ward has a very strong case to have a college named after her. Baroness Ward’s interdisciplinary fields of speciality and humble background, make her relevant to students from all walks of life. Whilst a front runner for the name of college 10, her common surname might hold her back a bit. It’s hardly Vanbrugh is it?

Harman College 26:1

Harriet Harman is arguably one of York’s most successful graduates. She is the longest serving female MP in the House of Commons, holding various cabinet positions, briefly serving as the leader of the Labour Party after Gordon Brown’s resignation, and currently serving as shadow deputy Prime Minister. Being one of the few living people on this list, she’d even be capable of officially opening college 10 herself! Sadly for Harriet, her lack of political neutrality lowers her collegiate chances somewhat.

Dench College  72:1

National treasure and York local Judi Dench has an outside shot of pinching the name of the next college and potentially becoming the Hes East equivalent of Derwent, becoming the new campus’ “Lad” college (what sort of self-respecting “UNAYYY!!” type wouldn’t want to live in the Dench college?). Sadly, not being an academic or having much connection to the university, Judi’s chances remain slim, though my personal inkling tells me should could be the dark horse.

Kallum Kollege 10000000:1

What could be a better for Kallum to seal the legacy of his two terms as YUSU president than having a college named after him? Who needs the shadow deputy PM when we have our own president? There’d be no shortage of college merchandise either, as Kallum would probably be able to supply scarves from his own private warehouse. Having his own college would also give Mr. Taylor something to do when he leaves office, creating a nice, cushy provost job for him. Everybody wins!