Ah, the outside world. I hardly remember what it looks like; I’m really busy sat in a dark corner of my dining room firing off passive-aggressive tweets like a Gatling gun. Like, really busy. If I had a basement, I’d definitely be dwelling in it. However, after my 23rd eBay purchase was delivered yesterday (a brand new Topshop dress for 99p, because f*** the system), and I answered the door to the bewildered postman at 3pm whilst still in my Batman pyjamas, I decided it was time for me to get dressed and leave the house.
So off I went, walking through the rain with my best friend, to our local pub. Firstly, rain – why? Why do this to me? Has summer ended so abruptly? Secondly, we were off to the pub to have a final round with friends who were leaving for Uni very soon. As I sat sharing a pitcher of Strawberry Pimms with my Sixth Form chums, most of who are leaving for Uni very soon, I thought about how I could very well be doing the exact same thing in a month’s time – laughing, talking, and drinking, with lovely people I get on with, in a mellow environment.
… Or would I? I have been to a couple of house parties, and I occasionally go to the pub to sit in a comfy chair and have a pint. But I’ve never been clubbing. Some people might be the same, others might think of me a recluse. Personally, I don’t like ‘club’ music, I’m not a massive drinker, I’m not a fan of strangers touching me, and my dancing is akin to a psychotic giraffe, or this flamingo. Also, I’m so tall that if I wore heels and danced, I’d look like Gandalf dancing at the Hobbit party at the beginning of Fellowship. I’m a strong advocate of chair-bopping to R.Kelly’s ‘Ignition [Remix]’.
That being said, I plan to throw myself headlong into all aspects of Uni life. I’ve bought my Viking Raid ticket, and some heels to wear out (which bring my total height to 6’2”…), and now feel fully prepared for My First Clubbing Experience. That brings me to my other main clubbing worry – what to wear. The word ‘bodycon’ sends shivers down my spine, and I’d rather run a cross-country course than wear a ‘croptop’. I’ve settled on a pair of nice black skinny pants to wear with various t-shirts which I will inevitably be given on club crawls. Because nothing says ‘please don’t throw up on me’ like flattering pants.
I think it’s quite bad freshers see YUSU run events – “Viking Raid” as actual ‘clubbing’. Check events in Leeds or at least a few of the student run events, which are a tiny bit closer to the actual experience. Hope you have a great year :)