Game of York: A Song of Geese and Swans

Image Credit: Ali Amer

Ever wondered what the university would look like in Game of Thrones? Have you not considered carefully which house your college would be in? Well, now here is your chance as Maesters of the Nine Kingdoms,  Lord Thomas Ron chronicle the geography of Heslington Westeros…

Alcuin – Stark


The most northern of the nine kingdoms, unlike its southern neighbours Alcuin is populated by fewer birds and more carnivores. Although you’d be hard pressed to find a direwolf anywhere, beware of the cats!

Being a spacious kingdom, the Alcuin Northerners live in large areas and are extremely proud of their homeland, despite their lack of facilities. It is because of this that House Alcuin and House Derwent foster cordial relations, as Alcuiners often visit the Vale of Derwent to petition the royal JCRC council, party the night away and most importantly, drink at their surrogate local bar, the Courtyard.

House Alcuin has attempted to participate in greater Kingdom affairs, with many awards being won by their nobility, such as Lady Campbell and Lord Dubois. Alcuin has not had many members on the Small Council of Sabbs, the last one being the Hand of the King, Lady Charlotte Winter.

Alcuin has long had a reputation for putting fair play over politics, with their Lords known for their supporting of liberation movements.

Constantine – Clegane


House Constantine was built on a section of the newly found Eastern Continent as a gift from House Vanbrugh (who sits on the Iron Swivelly Chair) due to years of continued service and friendship, as well as a desire for expansion.

Their namesake, Constantine, came from an empire where dogs were famously used to fight and harry opponents, and hence the dogs on the shield of Clegane prove to be a noteworthy comparison.

Derwent – Arryn


Isolated in the far east of Heslington Westeros, Noble House Derwent, with its distinctive blue and white logo, is a land of tradition.

Filled with grey mountainous blocks, Derwent has sent precious few SABBs to King’s Landing lately.

Known far and wide for their insular traditions and social events, visitors to Derwent, whilst always welcome in the Vale of Derwent, may find themselves feeling somewhat out of place amongst the locals.

It is also said that Derwent will make many people ‘fly’ due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed in their two bars. Like its fantasy counterpart, Derwent also includes a little island outpost, Eden’s Court.

Goodricke – Greyjoy


Having settled on the swampy islands off the coast of Heslington Westeros, Goodricke is no stranger to hardship, given the lack of amenities in that area when they first arrived.

However, after settling in, Goodricke have adapted many unique traditions, such as GoodMood and GoodFood, which set them apart from other places and give them a strong sense of community.

Goodricke have often reeved to the main continent in an attempt to gain power in King’s Landing, but it has been rare that they have succeeded and the last was a short one, under Lord Reaper Tim Ellis, Second of his Name.

Halifax – Martell


Separated from the rest of Heslington Westeros by the Sea of Twenty Two Acres, and connected by the Straights of Garrowby Way, Halifax has long had a streak of independence and influence not shared amongst other houses.

A relatively new addition to the Kingdom, Halifax has seen a lot of influence on the Small Council of SABBs, with a majority of them in the last five years all having at least one Halifaxer, influence they have long vied for against their rivals, the House of Vanbrugh.

Additionally, as seen in recent elections, House Halifax has often teamed up with their allies in Langwith, to help each other gain seats on the Small Council, with Master of Whispers George Offer being crucial in the rise of King Sam, first of his name, as well as a close friendship with Lady Cassandra.

James – Baratheon 


The house responsible for unseating Captain Tom Scott (aka The Mad King), James, has held King’s Landing as part of the Stormlands.

King Tim Ngwema First of his Name took the throne but was regarded by many to be a more efficient candidate than President, with many challenges to his authority, such as the infamous Alcuin Rebellion led by Warden of the North Oliver Hutchings.

James has fallen on hard times of late, with infighting in their previous committee. James has always played a large role in engaging with the Kingdom and has routinely had people attempt to and gain power on the Small Council of SABBs, such as Master of Whispers Lord Bob Hughes and the well-chronicled run of Lady Harriet Gibson.

James currently is led by a fresher, new to the role, Lord Gareth Dybiec, who seems set to make an impact on the Kingdom. Additionally, their Lakeside JCR is often battered by the storms on the Great Lake, and comes under regular attack by the Geese sent by the vengeful Kraken in the Lake.

Langwith – Targaryen


House Langwith used to have a strong foothold in Heslington Westeros. However, under the rule of Tim II, Langwith was exiled to the Eastern

However, under the leadership of the Young Dragon Lord, Sam Maguire (soon to be King Sam First of his Name), Langwith has flourished upon the Eastern Continent and has continued to play an active role on the Small Council, as well as gaining acclaim for forcing the Council of Maesters to pay the Langwithians back for not providing them enough firewood during the Long Winter.

Langwith has a long tradition of holding positions on the Small Council of Sabbs, having two Hands of the King (Lord Sam Asfahani, and Lady Cassandra Brown), as well as numerous other candidates such as the Ancient Ser Jason Brandwood, who oversaw the initial landing of House Langwith.

Langwithians are commonly noted for forming very strong relationships with each other in order to keep the ideas of Langwith pure, engaging in ancient rituals, such as the infamous Punch, where it is said the gods flip a coin to see who will become mad on each night.

They are known to dislike Derwent, due to the previous historical grievances between the two houses.

Wentworth – Tyrell


House Wentworth populates the lush and fertile area of the South West of the Kingdom, with the many fields leading out to the Great Sea. Wentworth is a port of commerce and trade with the Free Cities of Fulford.

The large fields are overlooked by Highgarden, which is known for having the best food that the Council of Maesters can provide.

House Wentworth, while officially bending the knee to the Iron Swivelly Chair, has often engaged in its own agenda with the Association of Tyrells, which has gained money and influence with the Council of Maesters.

Vanbrugh – Lannister


The current ruling House of the Nine Kingdoms, Vanbrugh has played a central role in the Small Council, with nearly every single one having at least one Vanbrite.

Vanbrugh is famous for being one of the richest houses, under the visionary leadership of King Kallum First of his Name, ruling from Kasterly Block.

However, in recent times, the gold mines have dried up, yet House Vanbrugh still remains a place where leaders of the Kingdom are churned out.

The infamous Endorsement of Vanbrugh has been many a time the deciding factor for those who seek to help rule the Kingdom, with the Lord of Kasterly Block being a kingmaker in their own right. House Vanbrugh is found in the West and covers a vast area, including the Port of Eric Milner, the enclave of Barbara Scott and Donald Barron, as well as Fairfax Island.

The riches of House Vanbrugh have seen many improvements to the Kingdom and the subjects living conditions, with places such as Vanbrugh Paradise being built with that money.

Furthermore, House Vanbrugh has successfully convinced the Council of Maesters to look into rebuilding the Port of Eric Milner to withstand the wrath of the dread creatures often commanded by the vengeful Kraken in the Lake.