As I settled down to watch the new Game of Thrones, there was one thought on my mind: if the writers kill Arya, they deserve to have their heads cut off with a rusty axe. Luckily, she really comes into her own in this episode and is completely safe. No need to write rude letters to the show’s producers. Not for now, at least…
The episode begins gearing up for King Joffery’s wedding. Prince Oberon and his troupe come to the Capital ostensibly for the celebrations, but of course there is an ulterior motive: revenge.
Away from the bustle, bitching and brothels of the Capital sits Khaleesi, languidly stroking one of her dragons as the others fight over the carcass of a lamb. She really is the best character. She is brilliantly unyielding, which is refreshing in a show full of stuffy old men. There is never enough of her story in the episodes. A particular highlight is when one of her men clearly takes a shining to her, finding a strategic excuse to present her with flowers.
Sansa, married to Tyrion and served by his lover, refuses to eat. She is the only Stark who is not exiled or dead, and we feel sorry for her, isolated in the Capital with no allies but the husband she hates.
The lovers’ tiffs between Shae and Tyrion and Cersei and Jamie are entertaining to watch. It is evidently all very tense. This series seems to be heating up, if not in the beds of the characters then in terms of tension between the houses. Everyone is way too grumpy to have sex. There seems to be hope for Jon Snow and Ygrite, as she chooses not to kill him even though murder comes so naturally to her.
I felt a bit sorry for Margaery until I remembered how much she enjoyed Joffery’s violence last season. Was she just being very clever or is she actually a sociopath? I kind of hope it’s the latter- she’s an interesting character. There isn’t enough of Joffery and his childish precociousness in this episode. It’s funny how easily ineptitude and insecurity make a tyrannical leader.
Arya’s fantastic. She sasses the hound so much- he’s both her captor and the only person she has left in the world so she can be rude to him with impunity. This is going to be an enjoyable friendship, evident when he says ‘c**t’ in front of her. When they go into the pub filled with their enemies, it looks like she might meet her end. Luckily, the hound is fantastic at networking. However, he soon decides to unleash his potty mouth upon a roomful of men, purely because he wants some chicken. They win though, obviously, and it is wonderful to see Arya riding away triumphantly on her own white pony. This is a fantastic ending to a fantastic episode.
‘Two Swords’ is a brilliant episode and a tantalising start to the new series. It is powerful with little to no death and no sex. One that you can actually watch with your mum, which makes a nice change.