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Averaging slightly over one goal every two minutes, York kicked off their season with an efficient redefinition of the expression ‘one-sided’ as they inflicted a staggeringly absolute defeat upon the Leeds 2nds.
York were exhibiting a not inconsiderable measure of swag as they ran out in their new vests, a marked change from the sleeved shirts of last season, perhaps a tactic from captain William Chun to encourage his team to stay in shape. However, if York were expecting an encounter to test their fitness and stamina, this was not it.
Within minutes, a certain uncanny nature began to permeate the atmosphere: something was wrong. Both teams had the appropriate protection and equipment, and both seemed to be playing lacrosse, but one team was scoring again and again and the other was not. It is a surreal experience watching a team play with such utter insouciance and encounter so little resistance. This is not to say that the teams were not trying. The York forwards displayed enterprise and aggression in their attacks and an admirable willingness and persistence to keep pushing for more, even as the score ran into laughable figures. The York defenders were no slackers either, snuffing out danger when necessary, and unafraid to show the same physicality as they would to a higher class of opponent.
However when one team dominates another so effortlessly it creates the rare phenomenon that, to a spectator, neither team appears to care at all. Of course, it would be a disservice to both sides to suggest that this was actually the case, as both captains made sure to keep shouting encouragement until the final whistle, and players on both teams continued to chase after every ball throughout the game. But the idea that this game bore relevance to the BUCS League and that there were points at stake just seemed completely at odds with the spectacle on the pitch. Even England had moments of uncertainty against San Marino last Friday, but in this match, it almost looked as though the sides were merely going through a drill session. Virtually everything the home side attempted came off, with no reply at all from their opponents save a singular breakthrough for Leeds’ solitary goal, resulting from a momentary lapse in defence, something the team will have to guard against when facing better opposition.
In the end captain William Chun contributed one goal, Josh Illsley and Chris Menon two each and Scott Nuckey and Joe Tebutt bagged a hat-trick apiece; but none came close to reaching the towering heights achieved by the Andys; ‘Big’ Andy Chalmers and ‘Little’ Andy Thomas, both of whom had their own personal scoring battle going on, eventually tied on ten goals each at the final whistle.
The destruction was so total that even a section of the the home crowd, whose support had been so eye-catching earlier in the game, quite reasonably decided that their time might be put to better use at Browns Bakery.
The team will naturally be expecting tougher challenges in the season ahead but, for now, a better start to the season could scarcely be imagined.
Vision MOTMs: Andy Chalmers/Andy Thomas