Your binge drinking co-ordinator, I mean STYC, will undoubtedly teach you some fantastic ways to down half a bottle of vodka in front of people you barely know then, like, pretend to be a troll or lick each other or something equally ‘banterous’.
I’ve got a few alternative drinking games for you that I think have more of that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ which will endear you to housemates and STYCs alike.
SIP IT WITH POLITE DECORUM FRESHER!
A twist on the beloved ‘DOWN IT FRESHER!’.
Sip your drink periodically until you reach a desired amount of inebriation.
If anyone request that you down said beverage because you are in your first year of higher education, smile sweetly and empty the contents of your drinks receptacle over their stupid head.
RING OF LIARS
A variation on that quaint old favourite ‘Ring Of Fire’
Spread some cards out on the table in a ring. Ignore them because drinking according to some numbers on a piece of paper is a fucking stupid idea and your STYC doesn’t own you.
When someone tells an obviously exaggerated tale to impress the rest of the block, drink whilst looking at them knowingly in the eye. Lower your cup, but don’t break eye contact.
You know their game. They, however, do not know this one.
NEVER HAVE I EVER
You’ve never played a game this scintillating in your life!
When your drinking companions/’friends’ play this game, which they will because everyone loves to over share, wait for your turn to say ‘Never Have I Ever’. Then smile sweetly at everyone and say ‘Never have I ever consumed a large quantity of alcohol in front of people I want to impress because I am scared that they won’t like any other facet of my personality’.
Style it out, act natural around the awkward silence, then when it comes to your turn again say ‘Never have I ever participated in an activity involving overshare because it makes my boring life seem that much more interesting!’.
Finish your drink, look around at everyone smugly then retire to your bedroom. What? You’ve now alienated everyone, so you have no one to go and down anything with in town anyway!