Real ale is a relic of an age long gone, drank only by gnarled old men in dingy pubs, moaning while the froth from the beer’s head clings to their grey sandpapery stubble. Why would you even want to try this warm, flat, drink? Let’s have a Foster’s instead!
Foster’s Lager. They call it ‘Amber Nectar’ – I prefer ‘Fizzy Rat’s Piss’. It is revoltingly dull. Some say as dull as Gordon Brown but I think that’s a bit too harsh…to the beer.
Foster’s is only one of these cold, fizzy beverages that dominate the beer market. The list of bland, commercial lagers is endless: Stella, Carling, and that other one that tastes the same as all the others.
The domination of lagers since the 70s has pushed traditional ales into the keg dregs of the market, only accounting for 11% of on-trade beer volume. This is eroding Britain’s age old ale culture – a constant since Anglo-Saxon times when it was brewed by monks.
Ale has seen troubled times, such as when Cromwell’s Puritan dictatorship withdrew the licences of many alehouses. It survived, but for how much longer when up to 50 pubs nationwide are closing every month?
Real ale is exciting, flavoursome and varied. Two blokes have dedicated themselves to proving this. Their company, Brew Dog, claims to be, “a beacon of non-conformity in an increasingly monotone corporate desert,” and their beers pack a punch of creative originality with tropical twists and hoppy flavours. Brew Dog’s ales are for a new generation of drinkers. Some are revolutionary, such as ‘Tactical Nuclear Penguin’ which is the world’s strongest beer at 32% ABV! You can’t find these beers in the mundane conformity of Wetherspoons but have to delve into York’s plethora of excellent pubs. Surely these varied establishments are much more exciting than lounging in the same bars with the same bubbly urine?
The quest for better beer is infectious. All over the country independent brewers are popping up, like spring flowers pushing through the icy ground, and they now number 670; more than any time since World War II.
Real ale is a modernity and drank by all kinds of people in some of York’s finest pubs & bars. They chat about the nightlife, and they enjoy the tantalising tones and striking shades of the independently brewed beer. Why would you ever want to go back to that fizzy, commercialised larger rubbish? Be brave and have an ale on me – it will be marvellous!