Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m in a terrible mess. Lord Darlington wants me to run away with him and my husband, Lord Windermere, is having an affair with this awful woman. Lord Darlington is pretty fine, in his own way, but I love my husband, which just makes the fact that he’s cheating on me hurt even more! He’s acting so distant, and he made me invite that skanky woman to my BIRTHDAY PARTY. I mean, who even does that???
I don’t know where to go, I have nobody to really talk to about this because I feel like nobody has really been in this situation the way that I am right now. Could you tell me of any books or literature that might help me through this situation? I would really appreciate it if you could recommend anything that will give me a rough idea of how to deal with this whole situation!
Deeply Lost in London
Dear Deeply Lost,
I don’t think your husband is really cheating on you (in fact I’ve read the play, and I know he isn’t) but if you truly believe that he is, then you shouldn’t stay with him because I can’t help but think you’re the kind of character who would feel obliged to do a whole lot of monologues about how awful your life is, and nobody needs that. How hot is this Lord Darlington guy? Is he rugged or handsome Because there is a big difference? If he’s rugged, then give it a try, but if he’s handsome, leave it out.
I actually think that you should try watching Made in Chelsea, it’s all about rich people with romantic problems and I think you would really relate to it. It’s also quite relaxing to just veg out in front of catch up telly, so give it a go. I reckon after a series or so, you’ll either be thinking a lot more clearly or you’ll have an overwhelming urge to drink champagne and play polo.
Get yourself into your sweat pants, grab the Ben and Jerry’s and have yourself a Made in Chelsea marathon, I guarantee that you’ll feel better!
Yours
Agony Aunt