The clock strikes ten. You rub your eyes and wander into the dim, dingy kitchen for that much needed glass of water. You’re greeted with the debris of last night’s takeaway, and on the table sit the revolting remnants of a greasy bag of chips. Soggy, cold and limp, they sit there, lazily. If you squint hard enough at one of these pathetic pieces of potato, sweating and dripping with fat, it looks remarkably like… a politician.
The expenses scandal and the sleaze of our national government are well documented, and rehashed regularly, so I won’t waste more ink on the subject. But it is a shame to think that smarmy politics has found its way into this year’s YUSU elections.
Peter Saul and Mark Pickard, running for the role of Women’s Officers, sauntered onto the Hustings stage oozing a repellent scent of conceited egotism. As Saul repeated their less than euphonic slogan “Death to men!”, Pickard stood innately grinning and giggling like an puerile school boy. What was meant to be a comedic attack on political correctness saw the pair leaving the stage as class dunces, heckled by their audience. This was a real opportunity to bring up crucial issues relating to gender equality, such as the lack of a Men’s Committee. However they ruined the chance to make a genuine protest, with immature and dismally pitiable attempts at irony.
My favourite, “all men are rapists”, was really top draw. Well done lads, you did yourself proud.
Are these really the sort of politicians we have created at York? Alan Belmore is the anomaly: the re-hydration necessary to soften this political hangover, and wash away the slime of sleaze. At only 19 he stands as a prospective parliamentary Liberal Democrat candidate for Hemsworth, near Wakefield. This ambitious Vanbrugh fighter is not cynical and sickly, but determined to act on what he believes, in an intelligent, positive and productive manner. As the youngest PPC in England, Belmore is a student we should be proud of. He represents a new era of bright and vibrant politics emerging from the dark, sinister shadow of the expenses scandal.
So let us forget about the two aforementioned nitwits and focus on what is good about our University’s politics.
Chuck away the rancid chips into the bin where they belong. Pull back the curtains and let the warm, uplifting sun flow in. Open the window and fill the kitchen with sweet, revitalizing air. Take a sip from your glass, and taste the progress.