By Rob Malan and George Phillips
Wow, doesn’t term go quickly! Week 7 already and we still haven’t started our dissertation. Not to worry though, spirits are high, and soon we, like the rest of you, will be returning to the nest; enjoying the festive season with our families and friends. It promises to be a joyous time defined by mulled wine, Christmas cards and, carollers, mince pies and Christmas trees. Unless of course you live in Dundee where instead, a winter lights show will be the only sign to mark JC’s big day (read Winterval).
The council of Dundee, always one step ahead has introduced a policy for a ‘politically correct’ December. You lucky chaps. Probably a good thing though, I heard the Jedi community of Dundee was planning a militant uprising in protest at any public displays of festive frivolity. If only all councils in Britain were this astute to the problems facing 21st century Britain. Go team Dundee; you’ve really hit the nail on the head here. My only concern is that dinner tables all over the country will pick up Mum’s copy of the Daily Mail to see on the front page ‘DUNDEE COUNCIL CANCELS CHRISTMAS’. I’d like to call this the Daily Mail Effect ©.
The problem is we live with the scourge of political correctness; the compulsory avoidance of behaviour that could potentially cause offence, typically without actually consulting the affected group, serves only to create, maintain and exaggerate social divisions, causing resentment where none exists. Why can’t those who perpetuate such socially divisive policies realise there is a massive difference between the necessity of showing common decency, respect and good manners towards your fellow citizen, and bowing to what the state dictates to be offensive such as the national flag, Christmas decorations and school sports days? We mean literally what the John Calhoun has gone so wrong in this country that some sly, sly fox has even entertained the thought that Sports Day should be banned so that the fat kid doesn’t waddle home and cry?
On a serious note, this mentality of ‘everyone’s a winner’ is even more detrimental and delusional than it is flawed and absurd. Why as a nation have we developed this totalitarian philosophy of enforced protection and newspeak? Being offended is subjective, personal to the individual, it is impossible, and ludicrous to even try and enforce ‘laws’ so that no one is offended. What offends us does not offend you; for example we both find mushy peas highly disagreeable to our refined southern sensibilties but would not in a million years suggest they be banned. So what is the solution? Not a ‘return to the good old days of common sense’ as seems to be the fashionable argument of the moment (although a good dose of that would help), but that everyone just needs to chill out and crack open a bottle of Veuve. Can you think of anyone in York who calls a bin man a waste disposal engineer? No, neither can we. Surely those fanatical council proponents; those mischievous badgers of political correctness should spend more time and effort in sorting out heaters for the queue to Ziggy’s and reducing tax on White Strike than concerning themselves with petty attempts to change our vocabulary?
Changing words does not change reality; political correctness is an artificial social construct which harms those it seeks to protect, forcing us to consciously identify and overstate the differences between people in an effort to disguise them. We don’t actually care if you call York St. Johns mentally challenged or just plain moronic, but, it would be nice if next Christmas Oxford Street had a good display of Christmas Lights for everyone to enjoy instead of those shitty purple lanterns. ‘Honi soit qui mal y pense’ , ‘Evil to him who evil thinks’.