It’s the first house party of term. Thelma and Louise are, to be frank, rat-arsed, they stumble into the party and Louise spots the host who she slept with on the last night of her first year….how is she supposed to act? Should she be confident and chat to him? Or play hard to get and flirt with the rest of the guys there (even if it may be slim pickings).
Vodka goggles firmly back in place, its not looking too shabby even after a summer of meeting genuinely attractive men. Louise is instantly attacked by Host’s House-mate. Meanwhile Thelma is pretty far gone and has resorted to her sex eyes to ‘lure’ men in. 2nd year is definitely going to be different for these single ladies.
Having had exceptionally good summers sex-wise, both girls are frustrated at being back in a seemingly male starved environment. The best ones seem to be either taken or so far up their own arses they’re practically touching tonsil.
There has been mild flirtation via Facebook chat between Louise and the host but surely one encounter cannot count for much? Thelma ever determined to matchmake *cough* shit stir, stumbles up to Louise “I’ll berrr you a treble that you shleep with him before SNG (Sunday Night Gallery)”.
It’s really a lose lose situation for Louise, either pay for a treble or no sex till Sunday, at least not with said host. She takes the bet anyway, her state of inebriation has given her Hilary Clinton like conviction, surely she can abstain till Sunday? Plus there may be plenty of attractive freshers…
The girls don STYC t-shirts to welcome the bright eyed and bushy tailed freshers. Thelma spies a rarity; an attractive male needing help with a ridiculous amount of shopping. Before the poor boy can even rummage for his key card Thelma pounces on him faster than an attack of the swine flu. Rule number one of being a STYC, don’t f*** a fresher suddenly forgotten.
That night the girls take their freshers out on the town and they plan to have much more fun than their styclets! They head straight for the dance floor and immediately lose track of their freshers, so many people to see, so many to hit on!
Soon after a long summer away, several trebles and the excitement of Ziggy’s, Louise loses her bet and Thelma proves that while sex may be out of the question, snogging definitely isn’t. “These freshers are so easy!” she shouts, grabs an innocent fresher, rapes his face then throws him to the side.
This is the worst article I have ever read.
Yeah, but it does contain a subtle cultured reference to Clockwork Orange. That’s got to count for something.
I think its pretty funny lol made me giggle.
I think it’s a fair representation of some York Single Ladies. Which, let’s be fair, is f***ing tragic.
Its a good caricature. Funny as well.