22.10

*blog ends and thus life continues on as normal*

FREEDOM.

22.09

I am off for the night. Thank you for bearing on to the last 3 blogs over the last 3 weeks. It has been awesome for the elections. Thanks for Ed, Jim, Andy, Tom, Paddy and everyone who has commented tonight and the other nights.

Sadly as I have an exam I won’t be covering the full election night itself. (Sarcasm: Oh what a shame that will be)

Right I am off to have a bath with my toaster.

Love you. Ciao for now!

You can find me in the TV Section of Vision each issue.

22.03

Huw Edwards was outside. How could he have seen about everything that has been taking place when he is outside?

22.03

Switch onto BBC News Channel now for their SUPER-EXTENDED TOP OF THE HOUR COUNTDOWN.

22.02

Well that’s it. I’m sticking on to the BBC News headline at the end of the headlines and then I’m working on the deadlines

22.02

I love it that as it is on the BBC it has to have some frickin prestige.

22.01

And they shake hands with each other after what seems like a millennia.
x

22.01

Nick Clegg has certainly come back strong… out of everything he has prepared he obviously has been preparing on that element the most of these debates.

Gordon though has gone into a creepy laugh and a smile.

22.00

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…………. FAIL

21.59

SORRY about that GLITCH OF THE DEBATES AWARD

21.58

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…………. FAIL

21.57

LETS WRAP IT UP BABY

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
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WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

21.56

Cameron on Education. He hates that some have:
Massage Suites and Contemplation Room.

That’s what we need. Who can we vote for?

21.54

Where Nick Clegg has been but you haven’t poll:
Nick Clegg been to Warrington x 1
Nick Clegg been to a research department at Birmingham University x 1

Places where DC has been but you haven’t:
DC: The pavement x 1

21.53

The guy who asked the question is actually quite fit.

*FITTIST MAN OF THE DEBATES*

21.52

DC: Lets get people to read using the ‘photosynthetic levels’ like before?
What with LAZERS?

21.50

Twitter
j_freedland: 79 minutes in and we get first reference from Cam to the Big Society

yeah. I still don’t actually know what the Big Society is.

21.49

If we had Alex Salmond on at least we would have something to laugh at on the screen.
x

21.48

After the debate, find a brilliant episode of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart when they review the TV party political process. Its brilliant. It is just brilliant. It is on 4OD.

21.47

Sorry this debate so far has made me revert to my first opinion during the first debate.

I just don’t think that these debates are as big as all of the media commentators (who all want to have sex with each other) gloat on about. Yes they speak about the leader’s credentials and do paint a sort of semi-awkward opinions between party lines. But I don’t think that they really attract the right market for those who are disenfranchised with voting (primarily the youth. 10 million watched ITV, 2.5 watched Sky. That’s still 30 million people who aren’t watching), they don’t speak about their wider party and the wider bases of their politics than just basic soundbites…

and worse of all…

IT JUST AIN’T FRICKIN’ INTERESTING.

21.44

Twitter Twits

charltonbrooker: If only someone would just invent a magic fun-job-creating machine, this bit of the debate would be far shorter.

THIS IS LONG ISN’T IT. GAWWWWWD…. its ghastly

21.42

COMMENT UPDATE: NICK CLEGGS FACE

1: Just noticed Clegg’s bum chin. How unfortunate.
2: Nick Clegg clearly has the best “bitch, please” face.

21.41

I love it that David Dimbleby actually is listening intricately so he they don’t say the same things again.

Shame that they always say something else equally ghastly.

21.39

Gordon Gordon, between the ages 0f 13-19 there will always be a generation of a lost generation. They’re teenagers.

21.37

Bloody immigrants. Bloody Euro. Bloody Tax. Bloody benefits. = even more comprehensive conservative manifesto

21.36

Is it me or is David Cameron’s face looking more pinker, more medium rare?

21.34

Back to talking about VAT again. Puts head in oven.

21.33

Did you ever meet any of the Gladiators at any of their tours? I might Wolf at an all:sports in Oxford once. I cried when he went down on one knee.

21.32

Twitter Update WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ggalegrant: David Cameron, “I sympathise with you…” FROM MY FIVE HOUSES. #leadersdebate
quantick: Well, that’s enough about you, Anna Heyward.
jonholmes1: Yes or no! Clegg’s channeling Paxman

21.31

Talking about housing now.

My policy: Build more. Less cost. Everyone happy.

21.30

Kelly:

Gordon Brown: Wolf
Nick Clegg: Hunter
David Cameron: Rhino

There was a person called Rhino?

21.29

They are having a fight now. LETS SMASH THEIR FACE IN.

21.28

GET REAL. LETS BE STRAIGHT WITH MR CLEGG

Background
Its like a trifle filled with your happiest memories, a dog with its most luxurious coat, a hamster riding on the most amazing wheel

I am running out of ideas.

21.25

Bloody immigrants. Bloody Euro. Bloody Tax = comprehensive conservative manifesto

21.24

You can read all of the manifestos here. Its really critical. It is a necessity.
Here
Or here

21.22

Unemployed: If they are unemployed for two months they will get a job according to Gordon.

No Mr Brown I don’t want to work in Iceland.

21.21

I love it where Nick Clegg is speaking to the audience.

Nick: “or….. ello… where are you…… yeah……. hi.”

What a pointless pointless thing.

21.20

If the candidates could be a Gladiator which Gladiator would they be?

21.20

BBC IMPARTIALITY RULES.

If you live in Scotland, you can watch this on this channel.#
If you are Welsh, you will go on my second whistle.
THREE… TWOO….. ONE……….. *whistle*

21.18

They are talking about manufacturing industries and saving them tonight.

Manufacturing Industries are awesome.

I always know where I am in the country by how close I am to an manufacturing plant:

M1 – Heinz. It smells of baked beans (90 minutes till York)

M42 – Cadburys Factory. Only half way round the hell of the Birmingham ring road

M40 – DIDCOT POWER STATION

Thats why they have to exist.

21.15

YouGov and the Sun:

CON 34%(nc), LAB 27%(nc), LDEM 28%(-3)

21.15

Thanks for the poll update:

http://www.channel4.com/news/ poll says:
Clegg: 48%, Brown: 33%, Cameron: 18% and None: 1%

Wow… thats summit big there. By next week at this rate there won’t be any MPs left  bar Liberals.

21.13

COMMENT UPDATE

Sam: Scotty, what do you think their policies are on impromtu signs on public sculptures?

*in joke that nobody else will get apart from 3 people award for the night*

21.11

Where Nick Clegg has been but you haven’t poll:

Nick Clegg been to Warrington x 1

Nick Clegg been to a research department at Birmingham University x 1

21.11

Shit we all went to the wrong University. Birmingham seems to be like the place to be according to D-CAM. Entrepreneurs. Universities. Research. Happiness. Sunshine.

21.09

Background update:

Its like the best trip to the free cheese sample section of Waitrose

21.07

Where I have been but you haven’t poll:

Nick Clegg been to Warrington x 1

21.07

Emily Fairbairn: Maybe the most exciing background, but by farrrrr the most boring of the debates. Economy=snore

Well the background is frickin amazing…

21.06

Twitter Update:
davidvitty: Just found out we’ve got an immersion heater which is good as we’ve also just run out of oil for the boiler. Do we leave it on all the time?
CherylKerl: Dee none a thim hav a lovibil Nana in the crood? Tha’s wha peepil wanna see, not aall this gabbin aboot munnee #leadersdebate

21.05

Ok Nick Clegg has stepped back his revolution by stating that he won’t join the euro.

Put down your swords peeps.

21.03

I swear though that Nick Clegg is screaming through radical policies. Split up the banks. Cut the bonuses. …

Its like a Marxist revolution where everyone wears appropriate political ties.

21.02

I love it how no-one is blaming Clegg on the financial crisis because he has absolutely nothing to do with it.

*guilt free*

21.01

Background Update

It looks like the plumpest strawberry in a discounted box of strawberrys discounted at the fruit section in Sainsburys.

21.00

Kelly Holt: David Dimbleby- is it wrong to want to be told off by him?

No. Kelly. Its wrong but it feels so right

grgrgrgrgrrgrgrgrgrgrrgrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgrgrgrgrgrggrgrggrgrggrr

20.59

Lib Dems just stated that they weren’t going to give them any bonuses for bank owners on top of their pay packet.

#yachtfail

20.58

Let me guess how this area pans out.

Con: You wrecked the economy. Labour: We saved the economy

Con: You spent too much money Con: You didn’t want to spend enough

Lab: You will cut money too quickly Con: We’re all screwed

20.57

We have now whacked on to the mean mean banks.

20.57

Twitter

Jamawayphoto Thought Dimbleby would’ve visited a dentist by now.#bigotedwoman. #leadersdebate

ChazGirlx #bigotedwoman well atleast he didn’t call her a fat cow :)

luke_richardson Surely the most suitable candidate for the next PM tonight is Dimbleby? He sure hates a #bigotedwoman.#leadersdebate

20.56

I do like David Dimbleby. He actually asks questions, doesn’t act like an oaf, scream or speak on behalf of Rupert Murdoch.

He wins the prestigious VISION AWARD OF ADJUDICATION A GENERAL ELECTION.

x

20.54

I am now starting to realise why I failed my economics module.

20.52

David Cameron says that the natural human instinct is to hold your money and to give it to your children after you die.

Well… no. Its hold your money by your parents and then ask and ask and ask and spend spend spend it all by the time you get your first proper job surely?

20.50

I really don’t get National Insurance. Can someone explain it to me? Its money that disappears from our payslip but it isnt tax but it is tax, but it cant be tax because it isnt a tax rise, but it is tax because we all pay it and it is increasing.

Is that what it is?

20.48

GORDON BROWN NODS TO THE SIDE TO SIDE x4

20.48

The thing that has been noticeable about the convention of the TV debates is how much they are staring at the cameras when they talk.

20.47

Update on backgound:
Blue and crisp like looking at the Houses of Parliament in a reflection of a swimming pool

20.45

NICK CLEGG WANTS TO BE STRAIGHT WITH US AGAIN

20.45

USUAL GORDON BROWN SHAKING HEAD ROUTINE.

20.43

Back to the economy now, and they are talking about the emergency budgets.

Gordon Brown is coming back strong, stating the “same old same old” to David Cameron. He is only just now starting to get the whole thing now. Helps mate helps.

20.41

I HAVE JUST NOTICED THE FUNKY BACKGROUND.

So far it is the houses of parliament by the river during the start of a crisp of spring.

Updates about this inevitable.

20.40

Tie Watch. Sorry we;re late this week.

Nick Clegg is ORANGE. David Cameron is BLUE. Gordon Brown is nice and purple with a bit of orange and shit innit.

Does this mean a coalition government?

20.39

They are doing the whole referring to the person who is sitting down routine again when they are responding to a question.

20.38

The hall looks frickin nice.

20.37

Twitter
mirandafay: Did Clegg use the phrase ‘pop tarts and paper clips?’ I was munching pizza and I hope it muffled a more sensible phrase #leadersdebate
danlesac: How big are Gordon brown’s ears? Massive I say! #leadersdebate
charltonbrooker: Double Dip Recession sounds like a grim economic porn movie #leadersdebate

20.36

POP PLANTS AND PAPERCLIPS screams Clegg

20.35

Gordon Brown looks into the camera *shrinks away* looks into camera *shrinks away*

Better than David Cameron to be honest. Last week he looked like the man from the Demon Headmaster.
Look into my eeeeyeeeeeeeeeeeees…..

20.33

Nick Clegg: fair fair fair the shit here ain’t nothing to do about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

20.33

David Cameron just said that he would start work on the Friday after “winning” on the Thursday.

Well he can’t piss off for a four-day weekend now can he?

20.31

Do you think that it is ironic than David Cameron is standing next to a sign of the BBC?

20.31

The audience seem dead already. *exciting*

20.31

Dimbleby will have to run fast to make it to Question Time.. can we put in the Orkney Isles or something?

20.30

Its all started now. This is better than sex. Or several hundred space missions.

20.30

According to the New Statesman there hasn’t been that much of a Labour hit due to the whole Gordon Brown issue.

Read it here or even here

20.27

Five minutes to go. “They’ve lowered the lights… its all about to START… THIS IS ALL EXCITING.” screams the presenter.

THIS IS BETTER THAN GIVING BIRTH will probably come next

20.25

Can we have lots of jokes about hung parliaments please?

20.24

Simon Hoggart is on now. I never have liked him. I’m sorry. I just don’t.

*points at watch*

When the feck does this start?

20.23

If you want something to pass the time maybe click on my links below.

There might be some surprises and some sneaky things done *acting obviously sneaky as it is his last blog*

20.21

Jason Rose has just written a comment on the much-more-political Nouse blog.

WHEN WILL OURS ARRIVE.

20.20

I have been just asked. Scott will you be covering Question Time as well tonight?

Answer is no.

20.19

I also keep thinking that all of the commentators speaking to each other before the debates taking place, is like a dodgy attempt for them all to try to get to second base with each other.

That man there wants to nail Sophie Rayworth.

20.17

One of the presenters on BBC News has just mentioned:

“15 minutes to go. Its so exciting, its just like a shuttle launch. Not much difference.”

Yes. Yes she did. Compare it with sending a shuttle into space. That’s right…

SHE HAS COMPARED THE BRITISH POLITICAL SYSTEM WITH FRICKIN SPACE MISSIONS”

20.14

I am watching BBC News Online for the warmup. You can watch it: here or here or here.

Yet again they make it seem like the ENTIRE WORLD EVER BOILS DOWN TO THIS MOMENT. The Debate.

18.29

FAIL OF YESTERDAY The Gordon Brown gaffe
FAIL OF TODAY Outnumbered isn’t on

18.17

PREDICTIONS FOR TONIGHT

Nick Clegg: ‘I went to Afghanistan to see an old aunt…’
Gordon Brown: “I went to go a see an old bigot the other day, and she told me…”

18.16

Just been watching the BBC NEWS AT SIX where they have been going to areas throughout the country to see what people think of the debate to come.
Just liked that the entire of Coventry consisted of interviews with Binmen.

18.14

Just to remind you that you can watch tonight’s debate: here

16.48

Just one more little link of inspiration for the time being.

I was on Sky News today and I found a simply brilliant application that gives a blow-by-blow analysis of each constituency in plain english.
Find it from the Sky News Website here

It not only details who each person standing in each area is, but it also states the majority from previous elections as well.
As you might probably know already York Central is quite a safe Labour seat (predicted 11,000), but the newly formed York Outer constituency (which includes the University campus) has been predicted to only have a Lib Dem majority of 203, with the Conservatives trying to beat the Lib Dems to it.

So with York Outer being such a marginal seat, students here really will make a difference to the overall outcome.

You might know this already, but its a little food for thought.

*puts Glee on 4OD*

16.40

Good Afternoon You!

This is the election liveblog for the Final Leaders Debate, taking place tonight on BBC ONE. I know! The BBC! No flicking through channels ending up with those that are either trying to sell you furniture or soft core porn. We will be judging how well all of the main candidates are doing, but ignoring the statistics dudes in the corner who yap on about ‘margins’ and ‘policies’. This blog will instead be focusing on how well the candidates are coming across to us funtime voters, which allows there to be plenty of room for us to take the piss and attempt to keep some grap on being impartial.

How can I watch the debate I hear you cry?

Option 1: Go into your room. Turn off standby and click the number ONE on your remote
Option 2: You can watch it through the iPlayer. Click on BBC One and then ‘watch live’
Option 3: If you love to watch an-utterly-pointless-ticker-that-has-no-meaning then go to bbc.co.uk/news and select watch live
Option 4: Radio 4. Just after the Archers (der der DER DER der der DERRRRRRR)

Disclaimer: Just a little one. Remember that you have to have a TV Licence to watch the debate on your computer or the authorities will be on yo ass etc etc.

Coverage will start at approx 7pm tonight. My tipple of choice is some disgusting half-price cheap shit from Tescos. B.Y.O.

*Remember that if you do purchase some nuts for this evening please be aware that some leftovers might actually end up in  the gaps in your keyboard*