Spotify Wrapped hit its users once again in December 2022 with its cruel exposure of cringe and crazy stuff we all listened to in dealing with another batshit crazy year. Its verdict declared that my top artist was Taylor Swift and my fifth most-played song was Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault). I first came across this song on TikTok (which I no longer have downloaded, I am pleased to say) early in 2022 whilst dealing with the second-term University strikes.
The song was originally written by Taylor for 2012 Album ‘Red’, but it did not make the cut and the artist gave the song to country band Little Big Town for their 2017 studio album, ‘The Breaker’. When Taylor re-released ‘Red’ in 2021 as part of the well-known ongoing dispute between her and Big Machine Records over ownership rights, she recorded her own version of Better Man to include in the re-release, and personally it is one of my favourite songs by her.
The song describes the narrator talking about dealing with a relationship break-up, about missing a man and knowing that if he had been “better”, she would have not ended things with him. This song is relatable to anybody in any kind of relationship, who dealt with the pain of knowing they made the right decision despite loving/really liking that person. Taylor knows better than anyone how to convey multiple and complex layers of heartbreak. This song may not be the most well-known amongst the casual music listeners, but to use Arthur Miller’s words in his 2004 introduction to Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire, it “is a cry of pain”.
However, this song has always resonated with me in a slightly different way than perhaps what Taylor intended. I first started listening to this song when I was admittedly going through a bit of a rough patch. To be honest, for either right or wrong reasons, I often listen to Taylor when I’m not in a particularly brilliant mood. It makes me think of past experiences, not even necessarily romance-related events either, just times where I was in the wrong, where I wasn’t “a better man”. Whilst it can be often unhelpful to dwell on events such as this, for me this song demonstrates the power of music to make us think and feel in ways that the artist didn’t necessarily intend, giving listeners agency in experiencing music in its complex, fluid and extensive explorations of emotions. This doesn’t just apply to sad songs for me either. Despite being a straight man, I love Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World, not only because it’s a party bop but because I love the idea of a woman actually feeling like the titular lyrics because of me, again, slightly cringe I know.
Maybe my perhaps slightly unusual resonance with Better Man highlights what I perceive to be both an oft-juxtaposition, and also a rarity, of being a straight cis-man who is a Swiftie. Is it because I am a hopeless romantic or an overthinker who dwells too heavily on his past mistakes? It’s probably both. Nonetheless, the song, like so many of Taylor’s hits, is a powerful reminder of the pain and hurt that comes from failed relationships which can resonate with anyone, whether they have been in that situation or not. And it reminds me that Taylor is an artist with wide-range appeal, even sometimes for us men.