Quarantine Qualms

Dear Aunty Vi,

I think my boyfriend has had second thoughts during quarantine. He never contacts me and when a conversation finally starts, he only asks for explicit pics. I know I need to be upfront, but I’m scared it will just confirm my fears. He also consistently mentions another girl in our convos. I am so upset, what do I do?

Quarantine has been a stressful time for us all, and it’s no surprise that it’s putting many relationships under a lot of pressure. Remember that your boyfriend is likely distracted by his concerns for vulnerable family members and struggling to adjust to the difficulties of life in lockdown. Your boyfriend probably wants his conversations with you to remain light-hearted and fears that addressing any difficulties you may be having will put an extra unnecessary strain on both of you.

Being open and honest with your boyfriend about how you are feeling is important but it’s important not to overthink these things. If you feel there are serious concerns, discuss them. But don’t go picking apart his every action or looking for hidden messages where there are none.

Finally, don’t be scared that a conversation about your issues will ‘confirm your fears’. The end of a relationship is nothing to be afraid of and if the two of you are not happy together it will come out eventually. Avoiding talking about it now will not resolve anything – all avoiding the subject will do is keep both of you in the dark about each other’s feelings and stop you from moving forward either as a couple or as individuals.

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