The A-Z of York

Arguments. It won’t take long to realise that your flatmates in first year might not be the people who you are destined to be besties forever with. It is likely arguments will happen so be prepared for that and know it doesn’t make you an awful person. Maybe these people will go on to be the Godparents of your children, but throw yourself into university life and you’ll meet people more like-minded with whom your only similarity isn’t your joint misery in the worst accommodation on campus. (James N block anyone?).

Bed. You will want to spend a lot of time between the sheets, whether alone or with company. You will end up sleeping at times you didn’t even know were possible.
Cold. York is COLD. Most people here are from down south, and won’t be prepared for the scything wind that whips the ground incessantly here. Invest in a thick coat or you will be ill. And a lamp for those delightful 18-hour nights.

Drinking. “A pub for every day of the year” is York’s unique (and possibly exaggerated) boast. But the watering-holes of the city are great. Spending your winter holed up with a pint is advised. If you don’t love real ale, pull yourself together.

Evil eye. Great drinks. Johnny Depp’s favourite bar, so the legend goes. Worth elbowing your way through the crowd of posers for their extensive cocktail menu. If you can, snuggle up with a date on the beds upstairs.

Food. Oki’s, Vikings, Efe’s. The names of these fast food establishments are synonymous with the end of a successful night out in York. More stressful is the seething mass of humanity to be found in McDonalds around the time the clubs shut up shop.

Greg Dkye. Chancellor of the University. Possibly the most prominent York alumnus around at the moment. He is now chairman of the Football Association, and for some reason he thinks England can win the World Cup in 2022. Hmm…

Hipsters. York seems to have recently been hit with a plague of Toffs-turned-hipsters. Spot them in their natural habitat of Fibbers where they pretend to love electro whilst secretly hoping for the next fad to come along. Yah darling.

Illness. It’s everywhere at Uni. Freshers’ Flu is just the beginning. If it doesn’t get you in first year in your beautifully heated halls, Winter will come for you in second year. Damp and mould do not do nice things to your lungs.

JB Morrell. The library is actually pretty great, as they go. People seem to love it so much that it is almost permanently rammed. Horribly keen first years have plagued study areas since the rise in fees last year, so it pays to get their early. Also, beware the Library Police, ready to swoop in and remove your possessions should you take just a minute more than half an hour over lunch.

Know-it-alls. Every seminar group has one. There will be an individual who will monopolise the conversation, whether they have done any work or not (see R). It’s annoying because you can’t get a word in or direct proceedings towards something that is actually interesting. The know-it-all can be a blessing in disguise, though, in those 9AM seminars after a heavy night out. If you can’t work out who it is, it must be you.

Lake. The largest plastic-bottomed lake in Europe is perhaps York’s greatest claim to fame. Once beautiful and serene, it is now as dirty as it looks. Long gone are the days when colleges had boats for students to cruise around the waterways in. The fountain is little more than a trickle due to the algae in the water, which is supposedly never cleaned because the fine is a fraction of what it would cost to drain the lake.

Minster. The Minster is brilliant. It dominates the skyline of York to the point that it is the skyline of York. It is currently being renovated, so what was the largest medieval stained glass window in the world has been temporarily replaced by the largest poster of a medieval stained glass window in the world.

Nando’s. It seems that everyone at the University has been to the York branch of this poultry-proffering chain. It’s a safe bet, and who wouldn’t want a whole chicken with two sides all to themselves? Just be prepared for the meat sweats. And don’t be afraid to explore other options, York has a wide array of great restaurants.

Oxbridge rejects. At least you’ll have some common ground with your new flatmates. Don’t worry, you’ll soon get over it.
Protection. The Student Centre in James College has a sort of pick ‘n’ mix of condoms with a variety Willy Wonka would envy. Sex and money saving, can’t say more student than that.

Queueing, Queue-jumps. The Willow queue exists in a world outside of normal British etiquette. Don’t be that person.

Reading. The endless reading is a particular grind for humanities students. Maybe you’ll gamble and head to Willow hoping the Know-it-all will talk enough for everyone. That’s a risky game and we salute you for your efforts.

Science vs Humanities. The science/humanities complex might not be one you even knew existed as a fresher. Students of both harbour feelings (delusions?) of superiority. Really both are difficult but everyone likes to think what they are doing is the best.

Trembling madness. The home of any York beer lover, named after arguably the best beer in the world, Delirium Tremens. The small attic room has walls adorned with stuffed animals and a shop below selling hundreds of beers. Promotes a more continental drinking style, so not the place to get crunk.

Unemployment. Bask in your three year degree for no good can come from graduation.

Vision. Standard bearer for York’s fine student media community. ‘Nuff said.

Willow. Love it or hate it? That’s what the t-shirts they sell at Willow say. I wore said t-shirt at a music festival and several people recognised it, all of them fans of this unfathomable pit of hope and despair. Don’t knock this legendary cult venue without trying it first.

X-rays. Stupid things are done by drunk people trying to impress new friends. As with any university town, the city’s A&E doctors must have quite a collection of stories and x-rays. It doesn’t exactly help that York is all hard stone and sharp edges. It’s generally a very peaceful place though, so any serious injuries are probably more likely to be a result of some drunken stupidity than anything sinister or violent.

Yorkshire folk. Unless you go out on Friday or Saturday, you won’t see many locals at night. York’s population is 10% students, so it makes sense that your contact with these folk is somewhat limited. Remember it’s their city and their home, respect that and they’ll be nothing but kind and helpful.

Ziggy’s. A sweaty pit of debauchery, Ziggy’s (now Mansion, the use of archaic names for bars and clubs being common in York) is unique. Expect perspiration dripping down the walls, terrible dance moves, and the most creative (and quite frankly obscene) fancy dress York has to offer. Crazy, I know, but so much fun.