Taken 2

He did find them. And he did kill them. But unfortunately, sex-trafficking-Albanian-pimps have daddies too; daddies with automatic rifles, grizzled beards and angry expressions reading: “You killed my son, I’m going to rip off your face”.

In the first film, retired CIA agent Bryan Mills flies halfway round the world to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the clutches of a sex trafficking gang, electrocuting their kneecaps in the process. In the sequel, the families of those faceless lackeys try to go all Liam Neeson, on, well, Liam Neeson. You can guess how that works out for them.

But let’s pretend this isn’t called Taken 2 for a minute. Let’s call it “Albanian Revenge Trip”. Or Jim. Jim is great, a stalwart guy independent of any prequel comparisons. He tells a good story, can sprint across picturesque Istanbul rooftops without breaking a sweat and has a penchant for explosives. In short, Jim left me pretty satisfied (perhaps I should have chosen a different name).

The unfortunate reality is though, there IS a two emblazoned upon the advertising posters. Taken 2 is a sequel that, whilst entertaining, doesn’t bring anything new to the table that the first film let us gorge on. Bryan’s female family members are kidnapped, a rampage ensues through a foreign city and none of the local authorities seem to care. Indeed, the ludicrous plot is peppered with as many holes as the Albanians’ bullet-ridden backsides: daughter Kim’s (Maggie Grace) step-dad is completely absent, reportedly now a “vicious bastard” embroiled in a divorce with Bryan’s ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) despite having been completely loved up in the first instalment. How fast the honeymoon period wanes. Likewise, the long-armed reach of Albanian crime lords and their multiple connections amongst Turkish police sergeants, passport offices and the like are never explained.

Still, suspend all disbelief and it’s a surprisingly enjoyable romp through the vibrant streets of Istanbul. For Kim, long gone are her damsel-in-distress days, instead when her parents are taken she marches through the streets armed with a city map, shoelace, marker pen, and a handful of grenades she lobs over her shoulder every now and again while the general populace blink at the ensuing explosion and wonder who sneezed. Still, it does take some coaxing from her Father though a nifty device he concealed in his trouser-leg (for just such a situation) for her to come out of hiding from his bedroom cupboard first.

The sole reason you are able to take such far-fetched scenes seriously is Liam Neeson himself. When Kim asks him in a tremulous whisper “what are you going to do?” he delivers: “What I do best” with such gravelly, poker-faced conviction you can’t help but believe in the now sixty-year-old’s ability to karate chop his way through the population of an Eastern European town.

Still, with the door left open for a third installment, we can’t help but hope poor Bryan’s family learns to holiday in safety.