Student Press – Issue 230

THE BEGINNING of a new term can mean a few things for different people, but for most it will probably involve a protracted train journey laden with too much to carry, and awkward semi-looks at the nut job who inevitably has the seat next to you.

Nevertheless, you’ve still got to feel for Exeter Fresher Tom Sully, who, after losing in the Hockey club’s annual 5s competition, was made to complete a 16 hour round trip to Edinburgh in one day.

The unfortunate soul left Exeter’s main station at 08.23 in the morning and didn’t arrive in the Scottish capital until 16:05.
However, the trip wasn’t all doom and gloom for young Sully, with members of Edinburgh Uni Hockey team waiting for him on the platform after hearing the story on Twitter.

They presented the intrepid traveller with a bottle of wine, chocolates and a bunch of flowers, proving sports clubs from around the country will always unite in the pursuit of top chat.

Meanwhile, in St Andrews students have reminded us that the class war is still going strong by inevitably taking the whole ‘milking’ thing too far.

Not content with watching people empty milk cartons or port bottles over their heads, some rather ill-advised souls decided to replace the white stuff with champagne.

Cue Internet outrage, with The Tab running with the headline “Champagne Douchebags” and labelling it “violently offensive” for the “quantity of red trousers and the dodgy sound track” along with “the senseless waste of France’s finest export.”

It seems like the abuse might have got to them, as the jesters took the video in question down after only a few short hours, followed swiftly by a grovelling apology to both the SU President and the student paper. They insisted they only intended it to be a “harmless joke”.

It also seems the Internet shit-storm ‘Spotted’ continues to fester in universities across the land despite its untimely demise in York.

Exeter students have decided to take the Facebook page to the next level, with one poster suggesting “New game. See how long you can have your balls out before someone notices…”

And finally, at Southampton University, it seems that the stresses and strains of the exam period have simply got too much for some.

Eight police officers were required to stop a full on brawl at the library after university security failed to quell the ruckus, with one blood thirsty onlooker celebrating the fact they “had front row seats of the action in the Reserve Collection!”