Student Press – Issue 228

HALLOWEEN. The one day a year you can dress up like Lady Gaga without anyone trying to section you. Meat, leather or lace, you are totally within your rights.

Whilst I’ve been in York I have only seen the more conservative witches, wizards and occasional zombies, but this year some universities will be taking a different approach.

The Daily Nexus, Santa Babara’s student paper, has posted an article urging all students to pursue the traditional path of wearing as little as possible in the hopes of getting laid. There are costume ideas (in the loosest sense of the term) to help get away with some of their more blatant seduction attempts.

Meanwhile, trick or treat has begun in earnest over in Leeds with the local police putting arms into people’s letterboxes, a strategy which, if we’re being honest, is more likely to scare than inform.

One officer even admitted to the Leeds Student that to emphasise the “safety first message” he goes into unlocked houses, taking all the laptops, before bringing them all back with an annoying “I told you so”. Seems likes someone’s taking the festivities a little too seriously.Cambridge students will presumably be wearing a little more than those in sunny California, if only to prevent inevitable bouts of hypothermia.

For those not affected by the exuberant celebrations, The Tab suggest mixing up a “Brain Hemorrhage Cocktail” and attempting to seduce “that porter that you’ve fancied for ages.”However it seems not all will be enjoying parties this year with The Tab reporting that St Catherine’s College May Ball is being cancelled for the third year in a row. This may or may not have something to do with events at next door Queens College ‘Halloween Bop’ which left the ancient buildings covered with “vomit and faeces” the day before a memorial service for a deceased fellow.

It’s not only Cambridge that are trying to cancel parties. Writers at The Mancunion reported predictable outrage over a “pimps and hoes” themed Carnage after complaints from a city councillor. He feared that the event would turn Manchester into Magaluf.

However disturbing the idea of a British hipster filled Magaluf is, the notion of Oxford Tories singing anti-Semetic tunes during meetings is truly stomach turning. The Oxford Conservative Association, the gift to student journalism that just keeps giving, has been cast out by the prestigious Oxford Union following the revelations of Association insiders last year, labelling them “ a better dressed version of the BNP.”