Looking through student news this week, I wondered: How does the average student keep themselves entertained?
Drinking immediately sprang to mind. A University Drinking league table has been published which placed York in the top third of the UK’s universities (a nice CV sweetener).
Cambridge students, despite being placed a modest 51st in the drinking league, last summer had to explore the idea of a scheme which would pay students to babysit those too drunk to look after themselves after nights out. The proposition followed an incident where a student suffered serious burns after passing out on a radiator.
Other hobbies were a little more surprising. St Andrews students had to be warned, by a notice posted on the Library toilets, that “masturbation is a violation of university regulations.” Sexually frustrated students were informed that the toilet floors were “not designed to handle your semen” and the “excessive amount” of stains cost thousands of pounds to remove. The warning said that cleaning costs would be reflected in tuition rises next year.
While the notice has been dismissed as a prank by the University, I’m not so sure; by all accounts there isn’t an awful lot to do in St. Andrews.
The burning of an Obama effigy by the St. Andrews Conservative student association illustrates my point nicely. Apparently it’s not an isolated incident, either…
“One year they burned an effigy of me, alongside one of Nelson Mandela,” said James Mills, former Chairman of the St Andrews Labour Club.
A Derby student has shown, though, that you don’t have to drink or masturbate excessively to have fun at university (although it helps). Danielle Morgan had to call in firemen to free her after she got her head wedged in a clothes horse. She knocked over the death trap, which landed on her and trapped her head and shoulders.
Shortly after her liberation Morgan wrote on Facebook: “Having four hunky firemen and two paramedics come to my rescue! What a way to spend a Sunday night.”
If you’re in need of entertainment, check out the Daily Mail website which features a video kindly uploaded onto Youtube by her friends.