A ‘sexsoc’ based in Alcuin has had two lively terms of orgies, and played audacious sex games across York’s night-spots, Vision can reveal, following an exclusive interview with the group’s self-professed “untouchable Madam”.
‘Madam’ would not reveal how many students were actually involved in the various group sex sessions and games, but would confirm that “other colleges were [involved]… as well as couples.”
However, the group is disgruntled with the gossip that has begun to surround their shenanigans. Madam told Vision that they “keep on hearing rumours every week but we want to set the record straight, there weren’t any ‘kitchen orgies’… it wasn’t as debauched as some are saying.”
Nevertheless, Vision can confirm the existence of a game in which the trigger-word ‘lectures’ meant couples had to find a place to have sex whenever they heard it. “It happened quite a lot in Evil Eye,” she revealed. She went on to joke that “a lot of people would moan about ‘lectures tomorrow.'” A male group member added that “the bar’s toilets were the only way out of breaking the rules.”
Madam conceded, though, that the antics of the majority may not have been to everyone’s taste. “This block is full of Christians,” she noted: “there’s a lovely girl who lives opposite me – she’s Christian – and I always feel guilty.”
She went on to add frankly that “it’s so easy to convince 18-year-olds that they want group sex.”
It all started with the group viewing of one of the highest-budget porn films ever made, Pirates, on a 48-inch TV, with sound blasted out by high wattage speakers. The beginnings of what has now been churned through the rumour mill were, according to the group, quite humble. “One night we put it on and it just… turned into an orgy and was a bit bizarre,” the Madam revealed.
A closed Facebook group called “Alcuin porn soc”, which was “originally a joke” had its security settings set to ‘full’ after it was inundated with requests to join. However, Madame told Vision that things have died down this term, with students “wanting to get into second year,” and concentrate on exams. She claims the frolicking is, “not what it used to be.”
Another member of the Alcuin block where the ‘SexSoc’ is based confirmed that, from their experience of the Freshers’ Week, “the whole block was, or is, having sex with one another.”
According to Madam, the group was instigated by girls trying to outdo each other in the early part of this academic year. “Don’t ignore the stereotype about all-girl boarding schools; they are randy bastards,” she emphasised.
Asked for her favourite anecdote from the SexSoc, Madame said it occurred at the climactic moment when the rumours of their good-times first leaked at end of the first term, as the group went on a mid-orgy ‘recruitment drive’.
After a lengthy boozing session, the scantily-clad revellers spilled out of the room onto an Alcuin quad for cigarette breaks to punctuate the action. At the time, North Yorkshire was experiencing its heaviest snowfall for 30 years.
“Four or five breaks in” the enthusiastic shaggers found two Australian gap-year students who were visiting campus. One decided to go back with the group, and Madam says that when he was presented with the mass fornication in front of him, she’d, “never seen anyone go so pale in my life.
“He got stage-fright,” she explained, “most men would love the fact that there were three girls on them but he was just terrified. I don’t think he really wanted to be there but didn’t want to turn down the opportunity!”
My say is this is utter bollocks.
Wow, haven’t read such an interesting story in a while.. Vision your writers do have vivid imaginations!
May I ask how much of this is fiction, and how much of this is utter tripe? Is there even any need for a student newspaper to inform about…sorry, make up something as uselessly bizarre as this? Can you call this journalism? If you define journalism and writing fiction as one and the same, then yes, yes it can.
And if it’s meant to be a joke article, well it’s pretty shit in that respect too.
To the three posters above. Why do you think it isn’t true?
Seriously, why? It isn’t something you would do I presume? Well yeah, possibly not. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen to someone else.
If you’ve got some personal experience, say living in Q Block and never being invited to an orgy, then let us know. Though I suspect if that’s the case you’d be keeping quiet in case they did happen and no one wanted to invite you….
Is it a coincidence that one of the inhabitants of Alcuin Q Block appears to be good friends with one of Vision’s new Editors? Slow week was it?
Where do I sign?
Anyone who falls for this is a moron.
I can vouch for the integrity of this story. I live in Q. I do find it odd that people would be so self assured as to post comments not just debating the facts shared within the article but going as far as to call them “utter bollocks”. Surely it’s up to the reader to decide for themselves how much truth there is in any article; this is lucky as, in this situation, if they had listened to some of the comments here they would never believe in the legend that is Q Block Porn Soc.
@ Nonsense.
You are clearly a maniac. What kind of idiot debunks an entire article on such flimsy evidence? A crazy person with a sweet spot for conspiracy theories I presume? The article might be total bollocks but you certainly can’t determine that using ‘Facebook friends’ as a tool.
@ Q Blocker
It’s not a legend, it’s pathetic. It seems like everyone who participates in this thing is so damn proud of it that when people doubt the story they run to their computers to comment and make sure everyone believes how legendary they are. Once again, pathetic.
Can i watch and just wank myself off?
Let people have their fun… you sound like a bunch of scrooges! The article made me laugh and isn’t that enough? I personally congratulate whoever is behind the article. Students take themselves too seriously in York.
@Wankmasta 2000: Amazing
@ To Q Blocker
Seems hypocritical that you would post a comment insulting these people whilst complaining that they comment defending themselves. I don’t know the facts but I’m happier believing it’s true purely for the entertainment value.
Erm, why would people not believe in this? Sure, it sounds far-fetched, but firstly, why would Vision make up an ENTIRE article about a sex soc? Secondly, what self respecting person would pretend that this happened? Because it’s not like it’s anonymous, we can all go and find Q block and the people in it. I honestly can’t see why a group of people would put themselves up to be gossiped about. I think it’s hysterical, I love that this has happened!
I disagree that’s in anyway ‘pathetic’ to be proud of yourself. Why the hell shouldnt they? They’ve done nothing wrong, other than have fun. They don’t need boring people judging them for having a good time and not being afraid to let people know. We’re uni student – live a little.
Crikey mate! Call that a knife…
I imagine it is a slight exagerration of what happened perhaps a few times. Having said that the article is terribly boring to read, so I gave up half-way through.
Dudes, I hung around outside Q block last night for a while, shouting about LECTURES. I was expecting some sort of orgy brigade to appear and let me into their lair. But no. Nothing. Let down!!
I have been part of this and let me tell you, it is amazing!! the boys impress me….