When we asked people about the nightlife at the University of York before we arrived here, the question was avoided. Students, parents and teachers alike told us about the cobbled streets and the quaint, ‘old-town’ feel. We did the math, and worked out for ourselves that it clearly wasn’t a ‘party uni’, but, boy would we get a good degree. Have you heard about the Philosophy department at York?
We mused between Leeds and York for a while but eventually settled on the latter for one reason and one reason only. Dressed awkwardly in our polo-shirts and discoloured, mismatching jeans, it was clear that we were simply “not cool enough for Leeds”.
Before you stop reading, outraged at such a wide generalisation, let us explain. There are certain types that congregate at every uni: Exeter has the Ra’s, Loughbourgh has the Sportys, Manchester has the drugs and Leeds, according to the EdgyGirlLeeds wordpress, has the ‘hipsters.’
So where does this leave York? Well, while being escorted around campus on our very first day, our STYCs proudly informed us: “We have just got into the final round of University Challenge.” We think that revealed a lot.
We were forced to come to the conclusion that, clearly, as newly initiated York students, we were to be forever associated with our fellows as a bunch of oddballs. But be that as it may, we weren’t disheartened or deterred. We had evensong at the Minster and afternoon tea at Bettys. Even Leeds couldn’t offer that.
However, this year it’s all changing. Fibbers Presents: Yet Another Hipster Night. Milli Vanilli, Bangers & Mash, Insomnia. Why, even Gold Teeth has migrated from Manchester and Leeds for a night or two.
The death of Salvation hasn’t been replaced by yet another string of ‘Back 2 Skool’ and ‘Fuck me I’m a Fresher’ nights, blaring out Justin Bieber like their life depends on it. No. The kind of music resonating round the clubs now is the stuff that you are more likely to see reviewed in Vice, or played on the beaches of Croatia.
“Julio Who?” is no longer a phrase to be heard on campus. Now the walls are littered with various posters proudly depicting the kind of artwork that could only be created with a solid knowledge of Photoshop and a myriad of pretty friends to model.
And it doesn’t stop there. It’s not only the nightlife. We think we have it sussed.
York is becoming ‘cool.’
We have begun to notice it more and more. The increase of disco pants in the library, Urban Outfitters taking up residence in the middle of town and suspiciously named contacts being found amongst Mum and Dad on people’s phones. No longer are these shady individuals in a minority, cowering with their oversized glasses in the corner of Bison. They’ve got company.
It started off small and understated. Gin and Juice were bringing back the 90’s before it was cool, sneaking in the occasional dose of Azelia Banks and Maya Jane Coles. Then it grew. Milli Vanilli, proudly boasting an unparalleled repertoire of disco, gradually snuck in more and more bass until we were so far from the 70’s that even Bowie would cringe. Then it happened. Fibbers opened their doors like the floodgates to heaven and a high-tops wearing, jaw-clenching army of hipsters were found queuing all the way down to Marks and Spencers.
You know them. You’ve seen them. Perhaps you are one of them? Found lounging outside the library, smoking their last roll-up whilst complaining to their friends about the amount of work they haven’t done (and are unlikely to ever do) that’s due by the end of never. Sound familiar? Congratulations. You are now a hipster.
We’re sure the sports coaches can’t be pleased. When Ziggy’s decided to get in on the action, it brought with it an unparalleled throng of chiseled and toned individuals, swapping their lacrosse sticks for some much needed remedy and, oh why the hell not, music. No longer are the sofas littered with half-conscious victims of that “last jaegerbomb”, painfully wishing they’d stayed at home. Instead, under the music resonates the tantalizing whisper of “have you dropped?” as the beanies are pulled down even lower over sweaty, dip-dyed locks – despite Ziggys being hotter than the seventh circle of hell.
So, York is ‘cool’. Suddenly, we’re not the ones visiting friends for the weekend, they’re visiting us. Our fallback tagline used to be: “At least we’re only 20 minutes from Leeds.” And now? Well lets just say that as long as the people are sick, and the music is sick, we’re all gonna have a sick time. Sick.
Top article, made for lovely reading! But please please can everyone stop mentioning julio bashmore. If I hear his name or read his name I will puke but puking is like so mainstream
this is one of the worst articles i have ever read.
How do l join the cool club?
Please Tom AC grant me permission to join your ranks, I beg of you, your greatness.
god I hate this place sometimes
this is hilarious! the amount of times I’ve told friends, ‘yeah but York is only twenty minutes away from Leeds’, hahaha so true.
Just a pretty bad article, no matter how tongue in cheek. Sorry guys.
What an embarrassment of an article; wannabe ‘hipsters’ writing about how ironic it is that they weren’t hipsters but now they are (trying to be).
‘But now we have sick nights at Fibbers where sick, unknown and exclusive music like Disclosure and Julio Bashmore (which are too cool to be played mid day on Radio 1…) is played and now the only cool music type to like is House and you can’t listen to anything else or else you’re not in and edgy.’
Oh COME ON. Obviously this is a joke, so all you commenters take it as one. Hardly hard hitting or thought provoking but very well written and witty article. And it made me laugh.
Cool is being who you are. Being true to yourself and your soul.
[S]he doesn’t even go here
Bitch, please.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA SO TRUE. AMAZING.
wow what a well writtten article. also the writers are really good looking and cool.
Too many hipsters in York. Completely disgusting if you ask me. The thick rimmed glasses, ‘ironic’ tshirts, penchant for roll up cigarettes and wearing wooly hats in wierd rastafarian ways without dreadlocks.
All of you are awful people, marching to the same tune- probably created by ‘Milli Vanilli’ (sounds like a B rate boyband)
Nah, trust me, got with one of the writers in Fibbers the other night – top bird.
I feel so post-York right now.
And Tom- ‘King of the Hipsters’ AC would really like this article.
Represents the reason why this university needs to end itself.
Fuck me, now I can’t wait to leave.
Maybe it’s because I’m not sufficiently down with the cool kids, but I have no idea what this article is supposed to be about.
Some of us need thick rimmed glasses because we are actually blind.
Some of us need beanies because we don’t have dreads to keep us warm and York is effing cold.
This article is seriously well written. Send it to Vice.
And YUSU Bastard? Milli Vanilli was actually a pop/dance group in the late 80s/early 90s…..
I think I should move to York
@Everything is embarrassing : well it’s been ruined by the Hipsters at York who think learning to ‘DJ’ (I use the term loosely) for six months means that you should be taken as a serious musician.
we need more writers like this
am i being ironic? nobody knows- it’s fucking vice magazine
What I love most about hipsters is that you say everyone dresses the same but then you all dress the same, not like me and my friends who, BY THE WAY, are so damn uncool we’re even more hipster than any York hipsters, although to be fair york hipsters can at least say they got rejected from oxbridge which helps them move up the hipster list. Leeds hipsters aint got that.
I saw one of thr writers in Tokyo the other week and they knew all the words to Flo Rida
and it looked like they loved vks and not in an ironic way
A business idea: ‘Fuck me, I’m a hipster’ night
and ‘Still @ Skool (Learning is cool)’ night
“@” YUSU Bastard (are we connected to twitter here?) I think maybe you should youtube some of the original Milli Vanilli’s songs before you make any assertions about serious music…
Also Goths, most hipsters love The Cure; isn’t that enough?
Allow – all the writers are doing here, is showing their appreciation to a new scene in York. It is fair to say that most people have different tastes in life/music/dress – but really… so what if we drink Red Stripe, Shazam every tune we hear and take illicit drugs – it’s not harming anyone. In my opinion, I find the wannabe Rah’s with their brightly coloured chinos, and their overly revealing dresses down-right embarrassing. But I don’t cry and wail about it every Monday afternoon when my livefeed is invaded by the ‘Rich and Famous’ pictures. Everyone has a right to be who they want to be – listen to what they want to listen to – believe what they want to believe… you’re just wasting your time moaning on here… there are bigger problems in this world to be worrying about, so stop fusing over us ‘disgusting’ hipsters.
Just to clarify. To those who think it is a joke or remotely ironic I can assure it is not. Anyone with any inside knowledge can attest to this. They are attempting humour by exaggeration, and not by sarcasm.
Stop acting like this year changed everything, does no one remember Idioteque?
I can’t believe people still don’t know my name…
Anyone else notice the inverted commas round the word ‘cool’? These guys are clearly being satirical. They’re not passing judgement on anyone, ‘hipster’ or no. So everyone getting hot under the collar should just chill out.
This article just highlights how tragically lame York really is – Fibbers is not a good club, it’s an awful waste of space which could be used for something useful, like another betting shop or a hairdressers… It’s one room which looks like it took 2 hours and £30 to decorate and they play one good song an hour!
Oh and by the way, just because you wear skinny jeans, a beanie and you take drugs doesn’t make you a hipster – just makes you a sad try hard. Real hipsters live in Bethnal Green or Camden in squalid flats with 9 other hipsters, claim to write for Vice but in fact live off Mummy & Daddy’s credit cards and ride fixie bikes – you morons are just wipsters.
Yet another poor article on a student website, written by people who will never get a job at a real newspaper. Just goes to show that all hipster-wannabes are fundamentally idiots.
P.S. If you’re gunna wear a Ramones shirt, at least listen to some of their music first…
This one of the cringest articles I have ever read. Written proof that york is not cool.
Capacity of Fibbers approximately 600? = game-changer of UoY ethos.
*Burgundy – very important not to spell the King’s name wrong… Agree with you though!
These hipsters are just the new generation of ra’s thinking they’re edgy and different- when realistically its just another identity and label. Guaranteed they were all sporting Jack Wills and Ralph Lauren 4-5 years ago.
Sorry but this is rubbish – the music scene in York is pretty much non existent. Im a third year and the only place I have ever been to that has EVER played a decent song is Bluefly. Also the clubs are only playing julio bashmore because its now become cool to listen to him.
All clubs still play the same generic commercial trash that is ruthlessly overplayed on capital radio every day.
Heroin is so passé
I like how the writers of this present themselves as fans of house music but the only producers they ever reference in these articles are so bait. Surely you can do better than julio and disclosure, who have both been playing on mainstream daytime radio for over a year.
Except Fibbers doesn’t bring cool kids to the yard, it brings posh hipsters who discovered house music 2 days before.
I legit was doing drugs before you woz in nappies. I listened to house music b4 u did gcses lola. bet u dont even lift
‘When seagulls follow a trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea’.
This is the most disgusting thing wot i have read in a while.
bun going into a diatribe about it, its just pure nothingness.
The writing style itself is actually quite pleasant though well done.
hilarious, loved this. i wasn’t aware people struggled so much to recognise satire.. sick.