Willow
The place to go when you have lost all self-respect to find like-minded people.
A Chinese restaurant with the tables put to one side and a DJ booth built on one wall (you think I’m joking…) becomes the venue for some of the most disturbing nights out in York you will have. But then with free prawn crackers, £1 shots and the Glee and Greese soundtracks on repeat what’s not to love? Having said that, its popularity probably has more to do with the fact that it stays open until gone 4am when most of the rest of York is tucked up with its hot water bottle. That and the cheap tequila… did I mention that?
A word of warning – If you don’t like graphic public displays of affection, sticky floors or drunken school discos, then have a few more shots before you open your eyes in Willow.
What you’ll see in your flashbacks: Tequila. Lemon. Salt. In vast quantities. That, combined with sweaty people covered in strange tattoos. Safe to say Willow holds flashbacks you will try to forget. You will though discover you can’t forget them when you see these strange tattooed people the next day in your seminars and discover the markings are in fact dozens of Willow stamps that the bouncer decided were definitely needed on arms, face, legs, chest…
The Willow-going girl: Considers getting some chips and a taxi with the last few pounds in her bag but instead settles on Willow, Tequila and prawn crackers. Having spent a long time getting ready to go out initially, by this time her perfected hair is all over her face, she has tried to reapply makeup but is looking a bit more like sad clown and is carrying heels she gave up with in the Willow Queue.
The Willow-going boy: In a pretty similar state to the Willow girl. But where shutting out painful feet with as many shots as possible is the predominant thought process of the Willow girl, the Willow boy, having not managed to pick up any of these girls when they were more composed is now on the search for the least trampy looking Willow girl to mouth the words of ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful’ to.
Most embarrassing Willow memory: To be answered fully this question should involve a long list. But as you don’t want to be here all day I’ll narrow it down to one. Having interrupted a conversation with one of Visions own deputy editors and a few people involved in York Media, I proceeded to grab the glass of the said Deputy and (thinking I was being incredibly subtle) turn from the table in order to be sick in it. Very neatly actually. I was soon taken home. Turns out I wasn’t as subtle as I thought. And as far as I know the glass was left there on the table.
Strangest Willow memory: Sobering up and looking around me. Not an experience I plan on repeating.
Famous for: Some questionable bouncers you will soon get to know (unfortunately it seems we have said goodbye to Konrad, the pinnacle of these), cheap shots, and Tommy Fong who runs it and judges people who take huge handfuls of prawn crackers… or at last I feel like he judges me. Also Willow has a strange effect of making people you never found attractive, completely stunning for the night, before going back to their normal self by the time you see them in your lecture the next day…
Close points of interest: Oki’s kebab van is just a thirty second walk away. That is vital as his hugs, singing and amazing food could just save your life at some point in the next year. Vodka Revs is also very close, as is a taxi rank and cash machine to top up tequila funds.
A regular describes Willow in three words: “I can’t remember”
What to wear: Something you don’t value or care about. But realistically it’ll be whatever you happened to be wearing when someone had the great idea to go to Willow. Strangely, Henleys, G-Star and combat gear are banned. Nobody seems to know why.
For more information on the history of the Willow, check out Vision’s look into it here: http://www.yorkvision.co.uk/scene/tommy-fongs-willow-reign/
