York’s Tuesday night student night, Kuda is still developing its true identity. With a ‘photoshoot’ entry where the well rehearsed Revs-poses can be cracked out again in front of a large chandelier and then a VIP Lounge with some snazzy sofas you feel it should be a pretty sophisticated place. But when you realise that all you need to do is walk into the ‘VIP Lounge’ to be a VIP, and if there are any rope barriers all you need is a bit of confidence to go in you start to realise just how chilled a place it actually is.
It then begins to more closely resemble a Toyko night, with a large balcony overlooking the sweaty dance floor it becomes an ideal place for sharking. With five different bars across many levels it is made for those drunken wanderers among us. Not so great though when you are therefore totally oblivious to the fact that everyone you’re with has already gone to Willow…
What you’ll see in your flashbacks: In between the sweat there’ll be a few of your male friends getting worryingly into their seductive dancing on the platform at the back of the dance floor.
The Kuda-going girl: Relieved to make it in off the cobbles after making the dubious decision to wear heels she gathers her girls around her for the entry photo which will hopefully gain her a new cover photo. Kuda girl approaches the night strategically to ensure that anyone there she wants to be seen by she will ‘accidently’ bump into at some stage. First she’ll check out the ‘VIP’ areas before heading down to the dance floor via each bar on the way. From there she’ll eventually make her way down to Tiki Bar where along with anyone else who has made it to this stage of the evening she’ll swing around an old minivan in the African-esque bar.
The Kuda-going boy: Kuda boy is pretty pleased with himself that for one night a week he is the biggest lad in here as the sports teams are taking the night off. He’ll either stick to one bar waiting for the girls to flock to him or rotate between them waiting to be dragged onto the dance floor by his adoring fans. He’ll then make sure that his boys know he loves them whilst dancing into every group of hot girls mouthing the words to Bruno Mars.
Most embarrassing Kuda memory: Excitedly getting eye contact with a total stranger, who happened to be very attractive, before signalling to him that it was time for Willow. I knew him very well after sitting across from him in the library earlier and studying his every mannerism, but my brain didn’t catch up that he doesn’t know me and probably just wants to have me arrested.
Strangest Kuda memory: Discovering someone with their bum out on the Tiki bus.
Famous for: Being the club attended by people featured on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (it was then called Gallery)
Close points of interest: York Dungeons are pretty close, but if that’s not how you like to end your night out then as is Subway up the hill. Kuda is also a pretty good final destination after a bar crawl being close to The Lowther and The Stone Roses.
A regular describes Kuda in three words: “Tiki, PBH, VK”
What to wear: Similarly to Tokyo, pretty much anything that is clean and free of body paint. A certain amount of glitter is acceptable but not to the Towie standard of Revs
