Ask Our Agony Aunts

When I came to University, I was a virgin and didn’t realise how much attention I would get from guys and how attractive and interesting they would be. By the end of the first couple of weeks, my flat-mate, Max, and I got on so well and I thought he really liked me; he even said he would break up with his girlfriend for me. The thing is, when he didn’t and I got upset, he said I was being naïve and had to learn that sex was just sex. Now, whenever I go to a club, I always end up sleeping with a different guy that I live with. I never start the night meaning to but I get carried away. It seems now, though, that everyone in my flat hates me, the guys think I am a joke, and the girls think I am a man-eater. How do I fix this and mend the friendships I had in my flat

Aunt Betty

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Calm down now, many people go wild when they first start University. Everybody makes mistakes and I’m sure your flat-mates have made just as many as you – some of them have probably done worse. Dating, or just getting with, your flat-mate(s) is not the best idea though. You also have to be cautious that not all guys are going to be gentlemen. You are releasing your frustration in a way that is not necessarily healthy, at least for you. Find something else in which you can immerse yourself and act like yourself, not someone you think you are. Talk to your friends and ask them for their patience, explain to them what you have been going through; if they are real friends, they will listen.

Aunt Petunia

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Taking someone home is a lot of fun, so I’m not surprised you’ve gone a bit crazy during the madness that is freshers, but if that’s what you want to do, you’ve got to compartmentalise your life; keep your friends and conquests separate. Your flatmates are wrong to judge you, but unfortunately it’s what people do. First year makes it seem like your flatmates should be your besties and if they’re not, you’re doing something wrong, but that’s not true. Move into a different flat, start a fresh, and learn from the mistakes that you’ve made, but most importantly, don’t beat yourself up about this – this – do a Nigella and keep your head held high at all times; if people want to judge you that’s their problem – leave them to it.

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