Isolation-ship Advice: Having a Healthy Relationship Together or Apart

Quarantine came as a surprise for the most part, and many of us are away from friends, family or significant others.

Here are a few tips for maintaining a healthy relationship if you’re quarantined together, or if you’re quarantined apart. 

If you’re together:

Take some time apart: Spend some time in different rooms, if you have multiple bedrooms or split between one bedroom and the social space. Have some time to get on with deadlines, pick up a hobby if you want, play video games or just relax. You’re your own person, it is important to take time for yourself on your own, even if you’re in a small space with someone 24/7. Taking some time alone ensures you can actually get on with uni work and that you don’t end up driving each other up the walls by being in each other’s pockets. 

Set aside time to do something together: If you spend the afternoon alone in your room doing essay work, you can then have dinner together and watch some Netflix. Or going for a run together, or watching a film. Having time together and apart means that despite being in the same house you can still talk about the various things you’ve both been up to without knowing it all already. Having time to spend together just the two of you will help you develop a healthy relationship, whether you live with housemates or just the two of you. 

Speak to your friends: Make time to spend time with your individual friend groups as well as mutual friends. Be mindful that your partner will be spending time online with their friends, maybe playing a game online. You can use time to socialise with friends you might not share with your partner as well as together socialising online with mutual friends, this will also help with the healthy balance between time alone and time together. You could call your friends one night or maybe organise a large hangout with you, your mutual friends and your partner, virtual pub quiz anyone?

If you’re apart:

Make time for each other: Facetime, Hangouts, Skype, Discord, whatever – but do it. You can balance your time between your quarantine household whether it be friends or family, as well as time alone and time with your other half. Talk to your household and your partner about this so everyone can support a good balance of time. The stress of being apart might be lessened if you can look forward to a Facetime call that evening. Even little texts throughout the day might help as well.

Do some activities: People in long distance relationships figured this all out long before quarantine, but you can watch films together on Kast (formerly, play video games together and chat using Discord or play board games together on Tabletop Simulator. Chatting for a few hours is lovely but having some activities to do every now and then might make the quarantine distance a bit more enjoyable.

Sex (if you want to): Okay, this article wouldn’t have been complete without it. Being away from a partner can be difficult in a certain type of way if you’re in a sexual relationship. Phone sex is a classic but maybe a bit awkward or old school. Masturbation is a tried and tested method of satisfaction when there is no one else around. But if you want to branch out there are other methods of long-distance sex that maybe you hadn’t thought of, using your standard sex toys for a different/better feel or, if you’re willing to splash out, there’s a range of ‘long-distance sex toys’ where a user can control the toy from very far away on Lovehoney. However, when they’re not on sale they’re almost an investment – but I’d imagine it’s very worth it. Plus, Lovehoney has a 20% student discount and regular sales!

Hope you’re all staying safe in quarantine, look after yourselves and each other!