York 9-1 North Yorkshire Police: York Hot, Fuzz Not

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Our UYAFC boys had the North Yorkshire Police bang to rights this Saturday on 22 acres in a fixture for YUSU’s Call it In campaign, running away with the contest 9-1.

Victory was a steal, as the boys in blue (who had bizarrely chosen to play in red) were outclassed from the start, with the action locked up entirely by the Rozzers goal.

Despite the constant pressure it took York the better part of the first half to finally find the net, mostly due to a stellar performance from the hulking form of the police’s goalkeeper, a big lad between the sticks, he proved deceptively agile and packed a mighty punch to send the ball over the bar from York’s first real chance, a dangerous free kick just outside the box.

It was just after 40 minutes that York finally broke the deadlock with Tom Brandreth slotting home. With York finally off the mark the floodgates were well and truly open and a swift brace was added to the tally before the half courtesy of Alex Tringham and a James Davies penalty. At the interval the score stood at 3-0 York.

York certainly didn’t abate with the scoring after the hald, hitting the ground running with a second from Brandreth and then swiftly afterwards on cusp of 50 minutes, a fifth goal from the boot of Josh Bew.

What followed thereafter was a shootout, with our lawmen utterly powerless to apprehend the culprits. A sixth was added by Matt Seed and then a second for Josh Bew from a criminally well placed free kick.

At this point the Fuzz were granted their only consolation from what was perhaps their first shot on target of the whole contest when a goalkeeping error made it 7-1, but by now York were on a roll, and the goals didn’t let up as Johnnie Gillbanks provided the 8th with a decent effort and finally a second penalty of the match conceded by the not-so-clean coppers granted Bew a well-deserved hatrick.

When the final whistle blew the lawmen looked relieved, perhaps in the knowledge that they could go back to chasing people they could actually catch. A thorough drubbing from York, and no one on the sidelines could dispute; it was a fair cop, guv.

Tom Davies
Tom Davies is a York Vision columnist and generally unpleasant, self pitying human being.