DEAD DUCKS AND PHEASANTS shot and hanged on campus

Dead game

Residents of James College were in for a bit of a shock this morning when they discovered DEAD DUCKS hanging outside their accommodation.

The grisly find was found hanging from a pipe outside the front door of N Block by a shaken fresher.

Sources inside the block say that other students had gone home for the weekend and shot the poultry, before deciding to hang them outside.

One student said: "What's wrong with buying chicken breast like everyone else?"

It is not clear what led the young hunters to leave them there, but planting dead animals has been associated with threats from the mafia.

In Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather, mafia boss Don Corleone uses the "gift" of a severed horse's head to intimidate film producer Jack Woltz into giving his godson a part. Woltz gave into the threat soon after finding the bloody head in his bed.

A campus security spokesperson said: "The Security Supervisor made contact with our Estates Department and asked that the animals be removed as soon as possible."

A later statement from security added: "There is no disciplinary action required. The birds were being hung prior to being prepared for food.

"The student has been advised that it is not appropriate in the open space of the University and they have agreed not to do so again."

Twitter: @TButlerRoberts

9 Comments

  1. Jake
    25 January 2016 - 15:04 BST

    It was probably some Chinese students

  2. A Tory
    25 January 2016 - 15:08 BST

    Not York Tories I am afraid

  3. Not A Tory
    25 January 2016 - 15:08 BST

    This is shameful and I hope the York Tories get done for this.

  4. The Bishop of Heslington
    25 January 2016 - 15:11 BST

    I am thoroughly in favour of this. York has too many metropolitan elite students who think their pheasant breast comes from a packet in Waitrose. Get used to it. It is shot.

    God gave us these creatures that we might have dominion over them. I sincerely hope that these birds were cooked and eaten rather than wasted.

  5. Kell
    25 January 2016 - 15:28 BST

    Tbf it is quite funny

  6. Stephen
    25 January 2016 - 15:56 BST

    As if living in N Block wasn’t bad enough like

  7. Paul D man
    25 January 2016 - 16:43 BST

    I have to say the Mafia are increasingly present on heslington west. N block is clearly the centre of Capone esque techniques

  8. Matt
    26 January 2016 - 11:15 BST

    If it’s a clean kill and the animals were actually eaten, then this is plausibly better than “buying chicken breast like everyone else”. Most chicken in the UK is factory-farmed.

  9. Confused, concerned and hungry
    28 January 2016 - 16:39 BST

    It isn’t clear – were these ducks on campus that were shot for food? If so, it’s therefore legal for us to just eat the geese wandering about?

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