Girl About Town – Jorvik men

Wherever you decide to go to university, as any self-respecting Girl (or Guy) About Town knows, a crucial step in your decision making process should always be: Checking Out The Men.

Regardless of whether you find them romantically interesting (or, you know, too many trebles before Ziggys interesting) or not, the Jorvik men folk will most likely be a fairly large fixture in your university life. Thankfully they very rarely dress like vikings anymore, but if there is anything a bit off about them then you should probably find out now, while there’s still time to get into Newcastle through clearing.

That’s where I come in. Now don’t panic darlings, because as we know, the majority of men are top notch human beings. They have more extensive and better organised DVD collections. They snack in larger units of food (a whole packet of Morrisons value bourbons, an entire garlic bread baguette) and so are rarely precious about sharing. They can teach you ways of drinking a WKD that will blow your mind readers, make no mistake.

However, in the spirit of being a little more specific, here is your complete and comprehensive guide to the three most common types of guy you will encounter in York. Enjoy!

RAH Man

RAH men are the occupational hazard of attending a top ten university in the city diversity forgot. You can usually spot them by their cut-glass accents and their propensity to wear suits far more often than is really socially acceptable for anybody who isn’t an extra in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Wherever this guy is from in the whole world, he will sound like he’s from Chelsea. RAH men can be easily distinguished from ordinary posh men by their three main hobbies: heavy drinking in sport-based contexts, use of the words “lash” “chunder” and “BANTAAAH!” in non-ironic ways and, unfortunately, being more likely to cheat on their girlfriends.

(NB. This is not conjecture. Your Girl About Town has been known to spend whole days flicking through the Facebook pages of complete strangers. This, ladies, is fact.)

Geek Chic

This is the man who chose York because of its cobbled streets and independent bookshops. His head will always be buried in a heavy tome that doesn’t appear on any reading list, he’ll listen to classical music and will probably play an instrument. A Geek Chic man knows far too much about art and wine for you to fake your way through this conversation.

Face it, unless you’re equally as intellectual, he is just terrifyingly clever, and while knowing him will probably push up your degree classification, he will never understand why The Only Way Is Essex is important.

The Importance of Being Earnest

Earnest men seem to be under the impression that their window of opportunity for changing the world falls within the three years they spend at university. They are the most enthusiastic creatures you will ever meet, and enjoy such noble pastimes as getting involved with YUSU campaigns, chairing the committees of various societies and writing for student newspapers.

Blackberry in one hand, “lunch on the go” in the other, these men are almost aggressively friendly, but you won’t ever see them for more than two minutes at a time because they’re so damn busy! (Brilliant for gossip though, so if you do manage to catch one in a rare quiet moment then grab hold of him and make him talk quickly).