Andy Burrows

Andy Burrows is nice. Really nice. So nice he’s written an album of acoustic songs with lyrics by his childhood friend and is giving the proceeds to charity. How nice. But does being nice allow you to write a decent album? I’ll be honest: no. Since when has anyone wanted to listen to nursery rhymes in the form of radio advertisements? Sure, Burrows has got an ear for melody, but the sugary sweet sentimentality and music that is irritating to the point of dreaming about slapping the man. Unfortunately, he would probably thank you for giving him colour in his cheeks… bloody Christian.

To be fair, poems written from a child’s perspective and covering themes such as a teacher leaving can hardly be expected to be anything but simple and innocent. The title track manages to be charming in its naivety, lines such as “they say that I’m dyslexic thats a word they’ve just found out” have an innocent logic that makes sense. The rest however are bland and annoying. ‘Cuddle’ is the worst and will soon be found sound tracking Pampers adverts. Swap ‘cuddle’ for ‘nappy’ in “I’d rather have a cuddle, than ketchup, chips or peas; computers can be lovely, but a cuddle is what I need” and Burrows will be wiping his arse with £50 notes.

When Johnny Borrell gets bored of performing with mere mortals, Andy Burrows has shrewdly set himself up for a fall back job in advertising. And if that doesn’t work out, he’d make a great Scout leader. A really nice one.