Valentine’s Day advice from SCENE

yelling

University is honestly one of the most confusing times of your life. You're thrown together with a bunch of people you don't know, you've got a reading list longer than your arm, and you're spending most of your waking life either hungover or drunk. Sex and relationships can be hard to deal with at the best of times, let alone when you're bumbling along clueless, pretending to be an adult with the other 18,000 student that go here. A little advice wouldn't go a miss, which is where we come in…

How long should you wait before kicking your ex off of your Netflix account?

If you were close enough to share a Netflix account, clearly things were serious. But there are a number of considerations to take into account – who dumped who? Are you still friends? Do you hate each other, or is it necessary for you to get along for the sake of other friendships?

If you dumped them, maybe wait a few months to kick them off so they can cry to a bunch of soppy films to get over you. Or if you completely and utterly ruined their life, don’t ever get rid of Netflix, continue to pay for the account long after Netflix has become redundant and unused, view that monthly membership fee as a reminder to think about what you’ve done before your inevitable journey into hell.

If they dumped you, perhaps the best way would be to angrily show them that you’re kicking them off your Netflix whilst they’re in the process of dumping you. Or, even better, wait until a few weeks down the line, when you know they’re hungover and in the middle of binge watching The Good Wife, and then kick them off, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

I accidentally slept with a flatmate. How do I make sure it’s not awkward?

Honestly I’ve never understood how sleeping with a flatmate can make things awkward. “Don’t shit where you eat” yada yada yada… you’ve only seen each other naked, how is that much worse than what you’ve already seen them do? At this point in the year, you’ve almost certainly seen your flatmates in their foulest states – unable to get a taxi home because they’re covered in vomit, heading off to their lecture in last night’s makeup and clothes having only had a ‘wet-wipe shower,’ or sitting at the kitchen table the morning after looking like they need a seatbelt because they’ve gotten the alcohol shakes so bad.

There are two approaches to dealing with it – you either agree to never speak of it again, or you allow yourself to be laughed at by making it into a running joke amongst your friends. It’s a rite of passage to make mistakes at university, and it makes your life a hell of a lot easier if you just embrace it.

How do I tell my partner that I hate the present they got me?

You don’t. Not for a long while, at least. You wait until you’re in the middle of a really heated argument (preferably years down the line – remembering it from that long ago really adds to the sting of your hatred) and throw it in their face. Or you could just accept the fact that in the grand scheme of things one bad present from a holiday that is so commercialized it lacks all meaning can’t hurt your relationship unless you read too much into it. Some people just suck at buying presents. Or they’re poor.

Got a problem? Need some advice? Drop us an email at [email protected] – we won't judge!