Lancs Gone Wild
Several Lancaster students were sent back to their university after consistently inappropriate behaviour over the Roses weekend.
Lanc's football men's 1sts Vice-Captain shows Vision his injured toe.
A Lancaster student was sent back to Lancaster University during last weekend’s Roses Tournament for defecating, urinating and vomiting on the University of York’s Central Hall. The student, Vision understands, was a member of the Lancaster Rugby team, and only one of many Lancastrian students to have incurred disciplinary action during the Roses tournament.
Over the course of the weekend, Lancaster players encountered disciplinary procedures after being excessively abusive to university staff, with one student even escorted out of York by LUSU Vice-President (Sports) Marc Handley.
Over the Roses weekend, Vision uncovered numerous stories mainly relating to various drunken antics of Lancaster students. Speaking to members of the Lancaster Rugby team, Vision discovered the name and identity of the streaker on Friday night’s rugby game at the Knights Stadium.
Andrew Laverick, Lancaster Rugby’s first-year representative, was more than comfortable with his actions at the game.
Laverick bared all to Vision about the experience; “I was well embarrassed of my tiny dick, innit.” He also told us that he would, “absolutely, happily,” streak again if his duties as rugby rep demanded it.
Laverick was not alone in his desire to get everything out in the open in support of his team.
A further, unnamed streaker at the men’s 1sts football at 22 Acres stripped naked on Sunday, before attempting to down a bottle of Chenin Blanc on the goal line, forcing Tim Green, York’s goalkeeper, to come to the rescue. After forcibly removing the streaker from the field of play, Green was pronounced “a bit of a hero” by York Sport President Sam Asfahani.
Somebody who received a less glowing accolade was the Lancaster Football 1sts Vice Captain, who was unable to play in the final match of the Roses weekend following injuries sustained after a drunken swim in the lake.
After returning to campus from town (via the A64) the Lancaster player was persuaded by team-mates to dive into the lake, where he promptly sliced open his right foot. A trip to A&E established that the team would be without a Vice-Captain for Sunday’s game. The player told Vision that he was “gutted” to miss the match, particularly since this Roses weekend was to be his last. His team-mates were less concerned, chalking the incident up to “banter.”
Away from the pitch, Lancaster students remained no less willing to keep their clothes on. One couple was so overcome with team spirit (or perhaps just trying to console one another after a second demoralising day) that they starting getting frisky in the Lancasterian communal sleeping area.
Accoring to reports, fellow students interrupted a secret blow job with cries of “Oi oi, Gobbler!” The female participant came up for air for long enough to reply “everyday I’m gobbling” to the tune of current chart-topper ‘Party Rock Anthem”s lyric, “everyday I’m shuffling.” She then returned to the task in hand (and mouth).
Other reported incidents include the Lancaster lacrosse men inviting the York lacrosse girls into their showers (glad you didn’t girls, you’re well out of their league); a York hockey player being slapped by a Lancastrian (calm down dear…); and one York student pulling a Lancaster sportsman in ‘numerous corners of the Courtyard.’ Traitor.
Second year Michael Potts told Vision, “It sounds like banter to me, why such a fuss? I’m glad the Lancaster lads came and had a good time!”
Lancaster teams clearly took full advantage of a banterous weekend away, with York Sport teams being incredibly well-behaved by comparison.
We’re glad you enjoyed the nightlife, Lancaster, though the daytime entertainment can’t have been much fun for you.
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Lancaster lacrosse proving they can’t score on or off the field…
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I just think York are abit upset about being ranked number 15 by The Guardian
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I’d like to say that i think its unfair that Lancaster competitors are being painted or ,rather, tarred, wit hte same brush.
Alot of student came up for the weekend and played their hearts out – some winning and others losing. That is not to say that the events didn’t occur or that Lancastrians we’re not responsible however, but to take away from the achievements of others is not fair.
I’m sure there are incidents by York athletes that occured – for instance shouting down Lancaster students in town with ‘what the fuck are you doing here?You don’t fucking belong here’ – but I personally would never let that make my opinion of my fellow York participants slip.
Yes – the incidents mentioned don’t make lancaster look good however i feel that the majority of the visitors were respectful and well behaved. Lets not forget forget that jsut a few years ago our own Rugby boys toredown and damaged the crossbars in Lancaster for some’harmless’ fun…
Lets not tarnish what was a great event with some really good games with petty post roses oneupmanship or slamming. It degrades both teams and quite frankly makes York look childish.
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“forcibly removing the streaker from the field of play” – Law 12; violent conduct. Get Green off!!!
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Understandably the actions of the Lancaster minority are unacceptable, but where is the mention of the York culprit who shamed his university at the men’s darts? Surely damaging property and giving the bar manager no choice but to exclude the spectators from viewing what was a magnificant display of darts, is a story worth some columnn inches?!
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‘shouting down lancaster students’ well calm down guys dont take the antics too far
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@
“A Lancaster student was sent back to Lancaster University during last weekend’s Roses Tournament for defecating, urinating and vomiting on the University of York’s Central Hall. The student, Vision understands, was a member of the Lancaster Rugby team”
Please note he is not a Lancaster Rugby Player, but a social member.
Also, the way this article has been written suggests that in the past York have been well behaved. Ive been a student at Lancs for 4 years, i know that at previous Roses this has simply not been the case.
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In reply to Lancy man, it has been confessed even among Lancaster people that it was a Lancaster supporter who was the culprit for the damage at the mens darts. Just thought I ought to clarify this.
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you spelt according wrong.
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“Lancaster teams clearly took full advantage of a banterous weekend away, with York Sport teams being incredibly well-behaved by comparison.
We’re glad you enjoyed the nightlife, Lancaster, though the daytime entertainment can’t have been much fun for you.”
unbiased reporting at its finest… oh wait
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All I know is, we had a bloody good time and there was bound to be some collateral damage. When you put hundreds of drunk horny students together, there’s always going to be carnage. ” everyday im gobbling “.
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“York Sport teams being incredibly well-behaved by comparison.”
For “well-behaved”, read “boring”.
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After the 2nd team won their Roses cricket match on Thursday we went out and had an epic night on the town, finding the York hospitality most excellent. 69p drinks in Mansion was a tremendous find.
There was no need for defeacating inapproriately – that’s more a Rugby trait.
As for inappropriate behaviour and getting frisky, one of our ranks (wearing a pink nightie) found friendship with one of the lovely ladies resident on the top floor at Mansion. A mere £50 for an imaginary gobble can’t be bad.
I’m sure there will be some reciprocal behaviour next year in Lancaster and some equally biased reporting in Scan. Oh well, who cares, this kind of thing goes on every weekend when copiuos quantities of alcohol are involved…..
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I really hope York learn how to let their hair down one day, then you might enjoy the occasion just as much as we did!
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If you ask me, this just makes York sound childish. It’s not like the whole weekend spiralled out of control like a snowball, with it rolling on and on and getting worse and worse until nobody could tell how far it rolled.
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From the sounds of things we should have won some points in the Sexual Kudos category; the ‘Gobbler’ taking home a well deserved 4points…and a STI.
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I love that everyone at Lancaster seems to be reading this … “Oi oi, Gobbler!”
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In all fairness to the person who threw the pint at the darts, anyone who was actually there can agree that they probably managed to prevent the inevitable royal rumble that was about to start as soon as the darts had finished.
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I love how lancaster are posting this round facebook and rather than being ashamed were proud :P. York do need to have a laugh though, thats why the girls were so eager to get with the lancs boys. “one York student pulling a Lancaster sportsman in ‘numerous corners of the Courtyard.’ Traitor.” get in Ruud!
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Can we get the name of the Gobbler please? Much Facebook stalking is needed.
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Sounds like incredible bants. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADS!
Next time a girl SMO i’m definitely singing everrrry day she gobblin.
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BREAKING NEWS!
Apparently the ‘gobbler’ was a bit of a troll.
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This only highlights that York need to loosen up. Isn’t Uni about having a laugh and getting pissed as a release from the work.
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There’s nothing wrong with sucking a bit of co*k. I was horny alright ! What people need to understand is that I’m young free and single and if I want to perform fellatio on someone, that’s my prerogative.
Gobbler xxx
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Chenin Blanc? Please, you make us sound like uncivilized brutes with no passion for the finer things in life. It was CLEARLY a Sauvignon Blanc.
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I would like to confirm that the Gobbler was indeed a troll.
They all count though don’t they! ;-)
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i here the gobbler woz [name removed by moderator], dirty sket!
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Can I just say that having been to two away roses at Lancaster the same thing goes on with York teams. I’m sure if you put together all the stories from every team that travels you will have some cracking banter. After all Roses always felt like a massive tour crammed into a weekend. Play hard, party hard. Also the thing about the ‘gobbler’ is hilarious and I hope the streakers evolve into attractive women at some point. Rumour has it the UWE v Bristol Varsity had two female ‘strippers’ I mean streakers this year. Roses needs to up its game from fat lancaster lads, perhaps give extra points to the best streaker every day…
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Cracking weekend Squires!!!!!!! much love x
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im back…
tbh the only other news on their home page is to do with a horse which they have named that was that was seen on campus
Sounds like a really fun uni!
NAAAAAAAAAAAT
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In 2011 MTV and Burger King released an alternative university league table, based on the number of high profile celebrity alumni, in which Lancaster – despite being relatively small – was ranked 10th in the UK.
Lancaster; producing the most attention seeking, low grade excuses for humanity, since 2011.
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In reply to ‘Who’: Mate which uni out of Lancaster and York is in the top 10?
Suggest you and your York bum chums form an orderly queue at the dole line…
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Lancaster are above York in 1 league table that York do poorly in every year.
In the Times, Telegraph, Independent we SMASH you.
Now kindly, why don’y you spam your own campus paper? Oh that’s right, nobody’s heard of it because it’s crap.
Booooom.
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Lancs > York
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@ York Uni
we literally shat on you.
“Booooom”
battyboi.
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Mate, when I was an undergrad at York, a few guys from the rugby club had a w**k over certain important Lancaster Uni items.
What makes this extra funny is:
YOU LOST.
In the words of Lord Sugar: You’re fired, you douche*
* Not directly quoted
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Regarding the battyboi comment:
Yep, I am – you’ll know this be the amount of lancaster guys I f****d up the a**e during Roses, leading to our victory.
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In All fairness this article is written from the perspective of a fifty year old Nun who writes for the Daily Mail. Who gives a shit if York where ‘better behaved’ Lancaster clearly had a better time.
When you’re old and decrepit what are you going to remember better? Being a ‘goody two-shoes’ and achieving an easy home victory or being part of massive banter and defecating in the middle of a rival uni? Or perhaps streaking? I didn’t realise York was a strictly PG Uni.
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It’s pretty obvious this is purely a biased article written. From personal experience I saw people coming from York, not even as competitors, throwing racist slurs, aggressive and derogatory insults towards members of the Lancaster campus, and this was only encouraged by the team members that were involved at the time.
The Roses tournament is purely a bit of fun, and those that involve themselves in it are often people who can take things too far, but that is how they enjoy themselves. To justify this article without highlighting the other side of the field is sensationalism, and on top of that, pathetically weak journalism.
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I’d jsut like to know when shitting on the floor became cool.
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“Now kindly, why don’y you spam your own campus paper? Oh that’s right, nobody’s heard of it because it’s crap.
Booooom.”
A) As you’re doing an undergraduate degree, and don’t seem to understand the concept of letting your hair down , you could at least spell “don’t” correctly , and B) Possibly the worst banter I’ve ever heard – next thing you know York will be boasting about their internet connection being faster…
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HOP from what I hear the ‘reporter’ who wrote this went around campus asking people for funny stories for a ‘Banter’ article. She then published this which is one of the most bias articles I have read since I stopped reading the daily mail. Also are York not just as bad when they come to lancs? or are they angels? SMO
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“Lancaster are above York in 1 league table that York do poorly in every year.
In the Times, Telegraph, Independent we SMASH you.
Now kindly, why don’y you spam your own campus paper? Oh that’s right, nobody’s heard of it because it’s crap”
Actually,
In the Independent (the complete university guide) : Lancaster 9th York 12th
Not to mention Guardian: Lancaster 7th York 15th!
Oh and the Telegraph doesn’t even have a university league table for a start!
The student newspaper at Lancaster is awesome and everyone reads it, shit banter.
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York university is a poor man’s Leeds University
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In fairness Lanc Man and Lancs71 there needs to be little people in the world, otherwise who will clean our swimming pools and shine our shoes.
Is it true you can do a BA in Surf Technology at York these days?
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@Lancaster-Lad
“When you’re old and decrepit what are you going to remember better? Being a ‘goody two-shoes’ and achieving an easy home victory or being part of massive banter and defecating in the middle of a rival uni? Or perhaps streaking? I didn’t realise York was a strictly PG Uni.”
Ok so, because we don’t find the idea of doing a poopoo in public hilarious we’re all ‘good two-shoes’? No, we just know how to have fun without acting like a bunch of immature 10 year-olds.
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Maybe the gobbler might see it wise to take out a super-injunction
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@York Uni
” Now kindly, why don’y you spam your own campus paper? Oh that’s right, nobody’s heard of it because it’s crap.
Booooom. ”
Not only the worst banter ever but:-
Number of LUSU Scan facebook followers: 749
Number of York Vision followers: 75
Hmmm.
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@York Uni
”Now kindly, why don’y you spam your own campus paper? Oh that’s right, nobody’s heard of it because it’s crap.
Booooom.”
You have a website called nonse. Nuff said.
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I wish york would learn to let their hair down.
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The gobbler has not yet posted on this wall as i live with the Gobbler and can verify that non of these people are the true legend of the gobbler.
Ps. the gobbler is also not a troll!
Gobble gobble
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@York Twats
York are so boring, there on the touchlinein their ‘well funny’ suit tops and rugby shorts! haha banter!
Also they are boring as I mananed to neck my one tin quicker than them! And what fight me!
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Party Rock’s Everyday I’m Shufflin’ is a poor rip-off of Everyday I’m Hustlin’ by Rick Ross.
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google “everyday I’m gobbling” – first result
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Lancaster uni — who cares about it? No one on earth respects it more than York uni. As for the “hilarious banter on lads from Lancaster” — you’re right, you really are so funny and witty. It’s genius really, taking all your clothes off and running across a field. What a LAD!
Your IQs really must be low.
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@blahb
“Your IQs really must be low.”
As low as your University league rating?
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I think everyone should buy my new album, “Gobbling”
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This article is the Rebecca Black of journalism.
You killed my pet hamster with your awful journalism
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to blabh,
dont respect Lancaster? Pretty sure they do mate, how is your media studies degree going?
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Lads…good banter either side.
I’m sure there’ll be a similar article in Lancs student newspaper where we’ll be calling you Lancaster lot boring pussies, and you’ll be calling us Yobs.
It’s the same each year, someone takes it too far, they get called a dick, we all move on with our lives.
But I just wanna point out one thing…
176.5 York……104.5 Lancaster
Scoreboard bitch….;-)
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to blabh RESPONSE: I don’t do media studies, “mate.” I do Computer Science. Oh and I didn’t go to uni just to play sport like some people here from Lancaster who have obviously nothing better to do than invade another uni’s news website whining about how York had no “banter” and how Lancaster were so funny! Defecating in a field — oh my god where do you people get your stuff! This country really has gone to the dogs…
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LANCASTER YOU’VE DONE US PROUD!!!!! LEDGENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Why the hell havent the admins of this site closed the comments for this article yet? Getting a bit ridiculous now.
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Yor1 – the main question should be why was this pitiful excuse of journalism published in the first place.
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Blahb-
I feel ashamed to call you a Yorkie. Please stop embarrassing us with your witless post and get back to playing Warhammer, you Computer Science nerd.
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Lanc, count yourselves lucky you dont have York Vison as one of your papers, they are out to get any sports club we have got. At most Universities sports clubs are celebrated, but at York, you get berated if you do anything half interesting. I havnt seen a decent article written by Vision since ive been at York.
DisgruntledYorkLAD
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lol listn i go 2 lancaster nd i fink dat dis rticle is alryt i men jst cos u ppl dnt wana hav sum fun nd b propa laff abt evryfin dunno y u jst sayin shit lyk dat girl HU IS GOBBLIN! fukin york ppl r shit ur paper s crap i wos at uni 4 3 yrs nd im here nw agen doin anova degree t master a suject nd i duno y u fink dat ur uni is as good as better dan lancs cos ITS NOT ITS LOWER DOWN A TABLE.
fuk u ppl. lol.
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Oh BANTER. Did the said Rugby player CHUNDER EVERYWHERE?
Christ. I’d like to name the way some speak of sports ‘universiterisation’. Definition: To exaggerate, entertain, and describe everything as ‘banterous’, whilst appearing to have no concept of genuine sports knowledge.
So annoying.
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As someone who attended the game i would like to say Lancaster really made the experience much more fun.. You are young and have the rest of your lives to be serious… if i was York i would be scared of the Damage Lancaster could do on the field if they were sober for it… ‘Just Saying’ ….. Get a life you boring Yorkies… Maybe you are for girls…
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TL;DR
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This is definitely one to put in the portfolio, Katy. In fact, even if you don’t go for a journo job this will come up if a company Googles your name.
Good luck with that.
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I didnt go to uni for sport either, i came for the degree and to have fun, also to play the sport im good at. Also..”.This country really has gone to the dogs…”….sorry Daily Mail. It was better when Thatcher was around wasn’t it? Jesus, lighten up. York seem to take everything seriously, i know a few people from York uni and they all seem fine and normal, up for banter and a good laugh but SOME of the York people on here are ridiculous. Although a few are actually reasonable students, who realise a) some of the stuff that happened was from very few idiots and b) that it was having a laugh.
Seriously, people need to calm down and also….this is still the worst bit if journalism I have seen and ive seen the front page of the Daily Star.
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Yeh – tbh we take things too seriously most of the time, I mean i don’t, but this Uni has got itself into the habit of just being boring. Everyone who comes here seems to have no social life and just a general lack of humour. Great wknd lancs, shame we couldnt return the banter is as much form and take it so seriously.
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Yes York1, you are correct. You seemed to have summed this whole post up in one.
That is; York are cunts.
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Every year things like this happen, and every year both Universities have a bitch about the behaviour of the other Uni, it is just the way things are.
What the hell do you expect when you’ve got thousands of students competing against each other. The whole thing is meant to be fun and there are always some who take things too far, but there will have been plenty of York students who acted like cunts too, and every year there will be people from both Unis that act like that.
At the end of the day, no lasting damage was done, people enjoyed the weekend, and we’re gonna kick the shit out of York next year.
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Soon, your all going to have to work like me, then your gonna regret never having done the things like that mentioned in this article whilst you where young. Go crazy or don’t its your choice, but dont let ppl regret what you choose to do. Hats off to the party people, you have my respect.
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Funny, you know, as a Lancs grad I was talking to a sixth form admissions officer and she was asking why Lancaster seems to have become so popular over the past few years… maybe the ‘Computer Science’ combined majors with lack of personality or perspective just isn’t as appealing as any number of high-quality research and taught programmes combined with an ability to have fun.
Which may or may not involve defecation. And by the way, if you actually read the article you’ll se that said defecation was “on the [...] Central Hall”, not the field.
Sport at Lancaster is a *hobby*. This means something which you do as well as work! It’s a bit like having a life. Try it ;-)
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what I really want to know, is whether he pissed, shat and chundered all at the same time? or did he piss first and then shit? or vom before he shat…
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LOL! Even the lake hates Lancaster.
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Who the fuck disliked our comment?
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Who the fuck disliked our comment?
Serious common sense right there – lancs are legends!!
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Did anyone post here who was actually at York? Trying too hard Lanc lads poor show poor show
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The gobbler is a true hero…
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Everyday-im-gobblin/156113767787395
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Stop taking this so seriously. Yorks and Lancs. Both unis have wanker peroxided ‘ruggers’ players and both have up their own arse uni obsessed student paper contributers. To me this sounds like students having a laugh. It’s funny. I’d laugh if York did the same at Lanny. Both unis are depressing 1960′s shitholes anyway. York a little more in fact. lol. It’s not like they’ve smashed up christchurch college. It’s uni sport. Grow some tits / balls a sense of humour and get a life. Lancs / Yorks are not sporting unis anyway. Nobody came to study sport so lets just have a laugh. Isn’t Roses meant to be about banter and not tosspotterish pseudo-sportsmen showing off? I don’t see any England / Team GB players. lol
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“@blahb” – actually mate, I have a very nice life thanks — I do my work, play a bit of squash, read fascinating books, drink some wonderful wine and spend time with my girlfriend. Oh sorry mate, I forgot that if you’re an intellectual you actually can’t have fun! Must have missed that lesson when they taught you that in school.
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Comment removed by moderator
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This is one of the most terrible examples of journalism I have ever read. I’m a York student, and I’m ashamed of Vision as a newspaper. This is an appallingly-written article, not to mention hugely biased and unfair. It doesn’t make us boring cos we didn’t shit ourselves (I, for one, am proud to be potty-trained), but it does make us boring to be causing such a fuss over it. Yeah, so the Lancs lads went a bit mental when they were over here. Who cares? We’re just gonna shit all over Lancaster next year, aren’t we? Figuratively, and probably literally, cos our boys are just as ‘banterous’, LOL.
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York is well gay innit.
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